Friday, December 12, 2008

Jon Stewart and Mike Huckabee on Gay Marriage

More of the same from Mike Huckabee. Says to Jon Stewart, "You might be using logic and reasoning, but I have religion to fall back on."

Friday, December 5, 2008

If We Behave, They'll Give us our Rights

I was reading through the comments section at the LA Times regarding that Prop 8 musical, and I read a sentiment I seem to be hearing a lot lately. (By the way I avoid comments sections like the plague, they are just filled with venom so much of the time.)

There seems to be a faction of people saying we need to treat this as a PR campaign, and we need to not mock the religiously conservative voters that helped to pass this amendment. Instead we should be clamoring for their acceptance, and showing them that we are just normal folk. That way we can pass an amendment of our own in two or four years.


The idea that I should have to beg the permission of these people to be married is ridiculous. Lets think of other places where we can apply this logic:

* If slaves work a little bit harder, then maybe their masters will take pity and pride in them and set them free.

* If a woman is in an abusive relationship, then maybe she just needs to be a little more patient, a little more loving, and just try to be a better wife. Then her husband wouldn't have a reason to hit her.

* If you had been a better son or daughter, your parents would not have gotten divorced.

We should not have to beg for our rights, and our best bet to receive our rights is to take it to the courts. Public opinion is not on our side, and it will not be on our side until people are forced to accept us and see us in a new light, and that won't happen until they see the results of our marriages years from now.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Prop 8 The Musical

This cheered me up a lot today. Just in case you haven't seen it somewhere else first.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Little Levity Before The Holiday

I took this from Dingmoonment as I love to know details about people who I don't personally know. What can I say, I'm a voyeur. And now exhibitionist.

Marital Status?
Legally married, but getting weddinged.

How long have you been toget​her?
4.5 Years

How long did you know each other​ befor​e you start​ed datin​g?
Not at all

Who asked​ who out?

How old are each of you?
41 and 29

What are your astro​logic​al signs​?
Aries, Sagitarius

​How tall are each of you?
5'9.75'', 6'3''

Whose mothe​r do you see the most?

Whose sibli​ngs do/​did you see the most?​

Do you have any child​ren toget​her?

​​Do you have any pets?

What’​s the harde​st on you as a coupl​e?
Sticking a homebody and a restless soul together.

What do you both do for a livin​g?​
Graphic Design, Real Estate

Is that what you went to schoo​l for?

​Did you both go to the same schoo​l?​

Are you from the same homet​own?

Do you live in the same town now?

Who is the smart​est?​

Who is the most sensi​tive?​

Where​ do you eat out most as a coupl​e?​
Super Mex

Where​ do you shop the most as a coupl​e?

​Where​ is the furth​est you two have trave​led toget​her as a coupl​e?​

Who has the best group​ of frien​ds?

Who has the crazi​est exes?

Who has the worst​ tempe​r?​

Who does the cooki​ng?​

Who is more socia​l?

Who is the neat-​freak​?​

Who is the most stubb​orn?​

Who hogs the bed?

Who wakes​ up earli​er?

Where​ was your first​ date?​
The Equator coffee house in Pasadena

Who said I Love You first​?​

Who has the bigge​r famil​y?

Who gives flowe​rs the most often​?

How do you spend​ Thanksgiving?
Usually going between two places, this year bringing it all together. Wish us luck

Who is more jealo​us?

Do you have littl​e pet names​ for each other​?​

How long did it take to get serio​us?​
From the start

Who eats more?

Who sings​ bette​r?​

Who’s​ older​?​

Who does the laund​ry?​

Who does the dishe​s?​

Who’s​ bette​r with the compu​ter?

Who drive​s?​ ​

Who picks​ where​ you go to dinne​r?​

Who is the first​ one to admit​ when they’​re wrong​?​

Who named​ your pet?

Who kisse​d who first​?​
Michael asked if he could

Who has more tatto​os?​

Who eats more sweet​s?​

Who cries​ more?​

Who's the traditionalist?

Who's the most sentimental?

May you all have a great Thanksgiving! Even as second-class citizens, we have much to be grateful for.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Will Not Call Them STD's

Our Save the Date's went out last week, which was totally exciting. It snapped me back into wedding planning mode, and it made the whole thing seem much less surreal, and a lot more realreal.

These are the standard letters sent out by Disney. They usually send them out with a sheet that has ticket ordering info on it, but we opted not to do that. It just felt a little tacky to us, and besides the savings were not all that significant.

I loved that they took care of this detail for us. I really did not care to make our own save the date's and send them out.

Here's a dirty little secret: no matter how cute and perfect your save the date is, I make note of the date in my calendar and throw it away, unless you sent me that magnet, which gets put on the fridge for a few months and then thrown away.

This letter though, I will keep in the forever pile.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Should I Be Having Some Sort of Freakout?

When we first got engaged I was obsessed with that little ticker image above. I was counting down every single day, and obsessing over the wedding in general at every possible moment.

Imagine my surprise when I look at the little ticker today of all days and realize I am exactly six months away from the wedding.

I'm feeling pretty good about where things are at. We still have a lot of things to do, but I figured we would start dealing with all those things in January.

Now I could freak out and make a list of those things and overthink every one of those details, but I am taking a much more relaxed approach to this weeding than I originally intended to. I have come to the conclusion that not every last detail of this wedding has to be a manifestation of our love and symbol of some greater thing. Some things are just things.

Case in point: I remember a conversation I had with a friend shortly after we got engaged. We were talking about centerpieces, and the fact that we were considering incorporating Disney snowglobes and using less floral, and he went into this tirade about how "we should design centerpieces that reflect our unique personalities and each one should have a theme representing a different time in our relationship so that our wedding would be truly unique." Seriously? That's a lot of pressure to put on a bunch of flowers.

That's a lot of pressure I don't need and don't want right now. Work life is about to kick into crazy mode for the month of December, so maybe I will make some time to freak out in the middle of January.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Someday My Prince Will Come

Our guests received their save the dates this week! We just used the standard Save The Date's sent out by Disney, which is basically a letter printed on nice paper. I just didn't feel like investing a lot of time or money into something I don't see as all that important.

I will post them later this week.

I am hoping to get some pictures of another great wedding for you soon. Something that totally captures the fairytale essence of Disney Weddings. That got me thinking though, if women dream of being princesses on their wedding day, where does that leave guys?

When I think of princes they don't usually do much for me. Either you get "Purple Rain" or tights and a cape. Not that there's anything wrong with a man in tights, think ballet or Cirque Du Soleil, yum, but not something I really aspire to.

Then I ran across these drawings from David Kawena on the internet, and suddenly I found a prince I wouldn't mind living happily ever after with. I just think it's interesting that somebody took some of the naughty thoughts I used to get when looking at Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid and fleshed them out.

He even gayed them up a notch, though seriously, these guys were always a little gay to begin with right?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Off Being Civically Responsible

The long arm of jury duty caught up with me this week, sorry for the lack of posts! But to tide you over, I will give you these pictures from this past Saturday's protest at Los Angeles City Hall. They are not very good, and they don't give a sense of how big the crowd was, but I was afraid to try and make my way out into the middle of the crowd! (I get a little claustrophobic in seas of people)

A big thanks to my sis for coming out to protest with me, and also for taking most of the pics!

Back with a vengeance after lady justice is satisfied.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Friday Weigh-In #9

Ok, I think I missed a week there, but last week was stressful, hurtful, exciting, and hopeful, so fitness was the last thing on my mind. Even then I managed to get two workouts in last week.

The weight-lifting routine is really getting tough, but at the same time I'm sefinitely seeing some great results from it. I am still on track to reach my goal at some point next year, so I'm feeling good about that.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

National Day of Protest November 15th

There's a link on the upper tight hand corner of my blog or click here.

Rob and Scott's Wedding

Remember when this was a wedding blog and everything was new and exiting and oh so optimistic? Then all the nastiness with Prop 8 started and the focus shifted.

Well it's time to shift the focus back! While it just happens that this blog will be more political than it was once intended to be, I will not lose focus that this was also started as a way to celebrate love, commitment, and joy. Not just mine, but that of other lgbtq folks and those that stand with us in the fight for equality.

So without further ado, Rob has graciously allowed me to feature his very recent Walt Disney World wedding with all of you. Rob and Scott had their ceremony at the Adventurer's Club in Pleasure Island, followed by a reception at the Atlantic Dance Hall.

On a sad note, the Adventurer's Club closed to the public forever the night before Rob and Scott's wedding. They were not aware this was going to be the case when they booked the venue, which was chosen for it's significance to them. It's the place where Rob and Scott had their first date. They were friends with the performers at the club as well as regulars, so having a wedding as well as a farewell to such a special place made the occasion bittersweet.

Still they managed to have a wonderful wedding, a ceremony that was completely unique to them, a gorgeous cake and a wonderful reception. All photos are from the very talented Randy Chapman. If you would like to spend days reading a very detailed and often hilarious planning journal you can do so here.

Congratulations Rob and Scott!

Even with the passing anti-gay legislation across the country we are showing the world we don't need the government to bless our marriages. We will still gather our friends and families, and vow our unending love and devotion to our soulmates. We will make a promise to take care of each other before our witnesses. They might be able to legislate the legal for now, but they will never legislate the spiritual.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

A Protest Every Day Since Wednesday

I took Thursday off, and I forgot my camera on Friday. I think the pictures tell the story better than I could.

The Aftermath of Prop 8

This is a post that needed to be written, but I wasn't ready to write the days after prop 8 passed. I spent those first few days crying at random intervals, and I wasn't ready to say thank you to all the people who are out there supporting our cause. Brides like Meg and Carly who are out there taking a stand for what is right.

A little more obvious, but still definitely worth mentioning are the efforts of the lgbt bloggers on my blogroll. Especially supportive have been Christina and N. I feel like we've all really leaned on each other through this really tough time.

So, what next?

I don't know. I never thought I would say this, but there have been some very good things that have come from this proposition passing. People are mad, really mad, and we demand action and satisfaction. I mean right out of the 60's, outrage against the establishment, I don't care if you turn the hoses on me, by any means necessary mad. I feel like we are watching history being made.

I went to a big protest in West Hollywood on Wednesday. I went to a big protest in Long Beach on Friday. I went to a huge protest in Los Angeles and Hollywood on Saturday. Today I will go to what promises to be a big protest at the cathedral in Downtown Los Angeles.

There was a time in my life when I was much more political, but I burned out on politics. I was always trying to join a protest or a school walkout, but I burned out on them. This is different.

I don't think I've ever seen this many people at so many protests in such a short span of time. This is not going to fizzle out. We are not going to stay at home and cry anymore. We are going to take back what we had, even if we only had it for a short time.

That is the big difference between California and all the other states where constitutional amendments have been passed. Those other amendments were just hurtful. They said to people "you don't have the right to get married, but just in case you get any crazy ideas." People were disappointed, but they had not lost anything, it was just reiterated to them they are second-class citizens.

Here in California, we had the right to get married, and we should have fought harder to keep it. We got too complacent. We underestimated the lengths and lies the Mormon church and so many other conservatives would go to to take this away from us, and they succeeded. They used fear as their tool, and we were too slow to counter with reason.

But they have made us mad. And we have taken to the street. And we will have our rights.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

It Didn't Change Anything

But it made me feel better to be sad and angry with lots of other sad and angry people.

I was hoping for a riot, but my friend said the best we could hope for was an impromptu fashion show.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Congratulations to Everyone Who Got Hope in Yesterday's Election

Gays and lesbians in Florida, Arizona, and probably California have considerably less to be grateful for.

We will continue with our regularly scheduled blog after a short break.

Monday, November 3, 2008

You Must Vote

You should vote for marriage equality.
You should vote against religious control in a civic institution.
You should vote against Prop 8 in California.
You should vote for marriage equality wherever you live.
You must vote.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

More Lies from Yes on 8

The Yes on 8 campaign sent out a blatant lie of a flier, the Saturday before the election, telling voters Barack Obabama and Joe Biden supported banning gay marriage in California.

I am not an Obama cheerleader. In fact I am downright pissed at the Democratic party for feeding the country the standard I believe marriage is between a man and a woman line, but to fake endorsements is low. To fake them four days before an election with so little time to counter-act the lies is even lower.

We received one of the fliers in the mail yesterday, and I was furious. Have no doubt in your mind. This proposition is not about protecting children or protecting marriage, it's about homophobia and discriminating against me, my husband, gays, lesbians, and anybody who is different.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Friday Weigh-In #8

So today I am almost a pound lighter than last week, but yesterday I was nearly two pounds later.

However as a treat to myself yesterday we went to lunch at the most delicious Ramen restaurant in LA, and their specialty is super fatty and salty pork Ramen, and it is so good.

So anyway, I am still making great progress. I only did a half workout this morning because I have so many errands to run today and I need to make through to tonight.

Samuel Jackson Says no to Prop 8

And is Samuel Jackson the type of guy you want to argue with?

And oh my God . . . Are those actual gay people in the ad? Those two guys in the picture are sitting a little close to each other, aren't they?

Frankly, I just want this election to be over. Tuesday cannot come fast enough for me.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

¡En Español!

Mothers against prop 8. Latinos tend to be conservative (think Catholic church dominance of a continent).

I never thought I would think of this as a good thing, but fortunately Latinos aren't the best at getting out to the polls.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Another Reason Only Marriage Will Do

Christina over at Steady Happy posted this and I am borrowing a piece of it because I think it clearly illustrates a large reason marriage is so important to us.

the last time i got the welcome packet, patty & i were merely domestic partners. i tried to add her to my health care benefits. here's what we had to provide:
- our certificate of domestic partnership
- proof that we have a shared bank account for at least one year
- proof that we share some sort of living arrangement (a lease or mortgage that is signed by BOTH of us)
- an affidavit that all the above is true that has been notarized

when i tried to add her, we didn't have the joint lease (patty was on it but i wasn't) so i couldn't add her to my health care. this time, now that we are MARRIED, here's what i had to provide:
- a marriage license

that's it. nothing else. just one copy. we didn't have to prove anything. so i made the copy & sent it off in the mail. done.

please don't tell me that domestic partners and marriage are the same.

People have had to try and argue with ambulance drivers over what a domestic partner is because they wouldn't let them get into the ambulance with their spouse. No one has to explain what the term husband or wife means.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Why Won't Anyone Say Gay

I am noticing a disturbing trend in all of these ads. Here Diane Feinstein is talking about discrimination and how prop 8 is discriminating. Against whom? Gays and lesbians. Not once does she say the "G" word.

In fact gay people are nowhere to be found on these ads. Why? Because we would lose the election?

I am tired.

I am tired of lots of things. I'm tired that this is an issue. I am tired that we will not call a spade a spade. I am gay. Barack Obama is black. Yet no one seems to mention these things.

Lets call it what it really is. This is discriminating against me. It's taken a long time to come to the conclusion that it is ok to be gay, and I still don't feel that way a lot of time when I am out in the world. I don't need this campaign to bring that shame back.

Lets put a face on the issue. Look me in the eye when you discriminate against me.

I promise that after the election I will stop being all political. How soon after the election depends on how things go on Tuesday.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Apple Says No on 8

I was so happy to read this on the Apple website today:

Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees’ same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a person’s fundamental rights — including the right to marry — should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8.

I know it's a few days old, but it's news to me.

Mr. Jobs, I have already bought an imac, two ipods, an ipod shuffle, and an iphone from you, so I don't know how much more I can do for you now, but thank you for doing the right thing.

Ok everyone, do what Steve Jobs did and donate to no on 8 today.

Ok, lets see where the teams stand. On my side: Steve Jobs, Brad Pitt, Mr. Spielberg, Google, California Teachers Union, and every major newspaper in California.

On Their side: Mormons, Southern Baptists, Catholics. And they say this isn't about religion? Right.

Stay out of my life churches. You've done enough damage to my psyche. There is nothing wrong with me. You don't know how to separate the sinner from the sin, you can't separate me from what you consider sin because it is a part of me.

Am I Out of Touch

Should I know who Tim Gunn is? In my own defense I don't have cable and don't watch much television. I know I like him, because he's against prop 8!

Just A Little Over a Week

Until the election. Our ads are good, and they are the truth. Do anything you can to make sure prop 8 doesn't pass.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Friday Weigh-In #7

Ok, so I know today is not Friday, which is my usual weigh-in day, but I am moving up my cheat to tonight and there is no way I am weighing myself the morning after a meal like tonight's and counting it as my weigh-in.

My mom has been out of town for a while so tonight she is cooking dinner for hubby and I. We will be having enchiladas and rice, and pumpkin pie for dessert, just because I love pumpkin pie.

This week I hit a 10 lb. mark! I am so excited to be able to say I'm down 10 lbs. so far. I'm starting to see some great results from working out, my clothes fit better, and my energy level is consistently great throughout the day. It's so nice not having that late afternoon "crash".

If I weren't worried and feeling depressed over the possible passing of prop 8, life would be super-peachy right now.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

This Is How I Feel

Article about how the Prop 8 campaign is heating up from the San Jose Mercury News. This paragraph really captured how I feel right now.

For many gay and lesbian people, the rhetoric of television ads and even the everyday things people say during a political campaign like Proposition 8 can carry a heavy emotional toll as normally buried feelings of prejudice are revealed, a group of researchers in San Francisco said Tuesday while releasing the results of two national surveys. Many gay and lesbian people are feeling stress, depression and alienation as the campaign intensifies.

I see the Yes on 8 signs about and even though it's not in my usual nature I want to rip them out of the ground and tear them up. I feel like every single one is a personal attack, though the rational part of me knows not all of them are.

Tell Your Girlfriend You Want a Domestic Partnership?

Loved this from Father Geoff Farrow's blog and had to repost it. If you are not reading his blog, you must! Go now, I'll hold your corndog.

Someone recently asked me: "Domestic partnerships are almost the same as marriage, why the need for marriage?"

Under California State law, a heterosexual couple may also enter into a Domestic Partnership. So, try this: Inform your girlfriend that you've decided you'd like to enter into a Domestic Partnership with her, instead of marriage. I am certain that she will be able to explain the HUGE difference between the two realities in a far more forceful and colorful way than, I would ever be able to accomplish.

Just one friendly word of advice from someone who used to play hockey in High School, you should put on an athletic supporter with a protective cup before having the aforementioned conversation with your girlfriend.

Monday, October 20, 2008

I Did Not Choose to be Gay

There seems to be a lot of discussion regarding this point, in fact lately there seems to be a lot of discussion about a lot of topics that affect me directly.

Do not confuse this statement with, “I am not happy being gay,” or, “I wish I was not gay.” All it means is I did not choose to be gay.

A lot of the arguments I have heard about why I should not have the right to marry the man I love are based on the premise that my homosexuality is a choice, and therefore it doesn’t matter who I love because I did not choose to love a woman.

The fact is that even if were shown tomorrow that my sexuality was not a choice but an outcome based solely on biological influences those people fighting so hard to keep me from getting married would not admit their mistake. They would not apologize and offer me well wishes for a long and happy marriage. They would not give me a set of towels off of my wedding registry.

Black people did not choose to be born black. That did not stop people from treating them like second class human beings for so many years of this country’s history.

It does not matter whether I chose to be gay or not. If you think it’s wrong to be gay, you will make it known, and you will make my life difficult, and you’ll do most of it in the name of God.

It is so disheartening that my marriage is going out for a popular vote. It is depressing that so many people who don’t live in California are contributing so much money in the name of God to take that right away from us. A right that was long fought for and only so recently gained.

To all the straight married people out there, be thankful that your marriage will never be put up for a vote.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Some People Have Too Much Time

Just like me! Watch it. Laugh. Vote No on 8.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The California Constitutuion is Hot

There's so many of these I will just post them all the way to election day!

Friday Weigh-In #6

Well this week I managed to not lose any wight. I did not gain any weight though, and I have been sticking to my gym routine, so hooray for that. I love the feeling of being stronger, and then slowly you begin to notice that your chest is getting bigger than your belly, and that's a flattering look for everyone.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Unfair. Unnecessary. And wrong.

That's what Prop 8 is. Go to the No on 8 website to see what you can do.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Do What Ellen Says

No on Prop 8 Ads

"Again with the no new or original content?"

That's what you're saying, and I'm saying, "I'm busy and stressed at work and I'm doing the best I can, so stop yelling at me!"

So why don't you watch these cute ads starring semi-celebrities Molly Rinwald and Margaret Cho I saw on Cats Cheese and a Wedding Please. The Mac and PC take is cute, and it's hard to tell but Molly Ringwald's husband might be cute as well.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Father Geoff Farrow

Sometimes I feel like blogging is just pointing out things that everyone else is pointing out, but sometimes it's worth it to direct people to a certain place.

I encourage all of you to read the blog of Father Geoff Farrow, who has been placed on suspension from the Catholic church after refusing to endorse Prop 8 which would ban same sex marriage in California. Check out his blog, he's a little long winded (like most priests aren't?) but definitely worth reading.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I Am Ever So Pissed

While checking up on the blog this afternoon I was really upset to see that the Yes on 8 people had set up residence in the adspace on my blog! I was so upset that I immediately got rid of all the google adsense ads and buzzlogic as well.

I am so mad that these people would post their ads here. Especially since the buzzwords I chose were gay weddings and gay wedding planning, so they knew exactly where their ads would end up. The only reason I had installed the adsense ads was because I have a sneaking suspicion that they help with coming up higher in Google searches, there is no way I was going to get rich off of adsense.

I was so upset I wanted to contact Google and let them know what was going on, but they make that surprisingly difficult.

So consider this an ad free zone! (unless I at some point decide to give up space to sponsors chosen by yours truly personally)

More Pictures From Rob and Sarah's Disneyland Wedding

A short while ago I told you all about Sarah and Robin who were the first legal same sex marriage to take place at the Disneyland resort.

They had an awesome wedding with Sarah rocking a red dress, riding up to the ceremony together in Cinderella's coach, and a very cool checkerboard dance floor I think I want for our wedding.

Enjoy the pictures (courtesy of Boutwell Studios) and congratulations Rob and Sarah, may the happiness we see in these pictures last the rest of your lives.