Monday, October 20, 2008

I Did Not Choose to be Gay

There seems to be a lot of discussion regarding this point, in fact lately there seems to be a lot of discussion about a lot of topics that affect me directly.

Do not confuse this statement with, “I am not happy being gay,” or, “I wish I was not gay.” All it means is I did not choose to be gay.

A lot of the arguments I have heard about why I should not have the right to marry the man I love are based on the premise that my homosexuality is a choice, and therefore it doesn’t matter who I love because I did not choose to love a woman.

The fact is that even if were shown tomorrow that my sexuality was not a choice but an outcome based solely on biological influences those people fighting so hard to keep me from getting married would not admit their mistake. They would not apologize and offer me well wishes for a long and happy marriage. They would not give me a set of towels off of my wedding registry.

Black people did not choose to be born black. That did not stop people from treating them like second class human beings for so many years of this country’s history.

It does not matter whether I chose to be gay or not. If you think it’s wrong to be gay, you will make it known, and you will make my life difficult, and you’ll do most of it in the name of God.

It is so disheartening that my marriage is going out for a popular vote. It is depressing that so many people who don’t live in California are contributing so much money in the name of God to take that right away from us. A right that was long fought for and only so recently gained.

To all the straight married people out there, be thankful that your marriage will never be put up for a vote.


Adam said...

It's so true... No one asks for it. Life just happens.

While I'm not in California, of course prop 8 will have such far reaching effects since is such a large state.

I pray that it passes. Because of work, we won't be able to get to california (where are families are) to get married anytime soon, so we're really hoping that it does so we can get married legally (and NY recognizes out of state gay marriages)

Anonymous said...

Ugh. I cannot stand that argument. I know I did not chose to be straight.There was no time when I decided I'd like guys because it was more correct, it just happened. And though I identify as straight, I sometimes find women attractive, too (not as much as men) and therefore can acknowledge how natural attraction to one's own sex is.

I always wonder about the people who say that it's a choice. I have a feeling that a large portion of the people who say that are bisexual or at least a little higher than 1 on the Kinsey scale and think that since they choose to ignore any homosexual inclinations (punish themselves?) that everyone can and should do that.

I love that I'm in CA right now, so I can vote Prop 8 down.

Luis said...

Just for clarification Adam we're hoping prop 8 doesn't pass. So get on the phone with your family and tell them to vote no!

Adam said...

lol. yes. sorry!

Yes means no, and no means yes. It's get confusing.

domi2.5 said...

I know how frustrating it it. I didn't choose to be a lesbian. The only choice I made was to accept who I was.