Friday, December 5, 2008

If We Behave, They'll Give us our Rights

I was reading through the comments section at the LA Times regarding that Prop 8 musical, and I read a sentiment I seem to be hearing a lot lately. (By the way I avoid comments sections like the plague, they are just filled with venom so much of the time.)

There seems to be a faction of people saying we need to treat this as a PR campaign, and we need to not mock the religiously conservative voters that helped to pass this amendment. Instead we should be clamoring for their acceptance, and showing them that we are just normal folk. That way we can pass an amendment of our own in two or four years.


The idea that I should have to beg the permission of these people to be married is ridiculous. Lets think of other places where we can apply this logic:

* If slaves work a little bit harder, then maybe their masters will take pity and pride in them and set them free.

* If a woman is in an abusive relationship, then maybe she just needs to be a little more patient, a little more loving, and just try to be a better wife. Then her husband wouldn't have a reason to hit her.

* If you had been a better son or daughter, your parents would not have gotten divorced.

We should not have to beg for our rights, and our best bet to receive our rights is to take it to the courts. Public opinion is not on our side, and it will not be on our side until people are forced to accept us and see us in a new light, and that won't happen until they see the results of our marriages years from now.


Dharma Kelleher said...

I have great respect for you, my friend. I wish you the most beautiful of weddings. You and your beloved deserve it.

I respect your passion. On most points, we are very much in agreement. I certainly do not suggest we be meek little boys and girls and hope the hostile sects of our society will come around.

I call for civil disobedience, emphasis on both civil and disobedience. In the spirit of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi. I have studied their work and in particular their speeches.

Both emphasized the need to stop bashing their opponents and instead to make bold statements decrying the illegal discrimination.

I'm talking about making our presence known, and in doing so conduct ourselves as adult rather than as schoolyard children.

I'm talking about marching with dignity. I'm talking about filing married on our income taxes. I'm talking about building bridges with those who do not hate us as many evangelists do, but who do not yet understand our need for equality in all things. I'm calling for us to continue taking our cases to the courts as well as to the people.

It's easy to engage in name-calling. It's easy to make the evangelists and Mormons our enemies. What I'm calling for is not easy. But it is effective.

Dr. King was assassinated, but he drew to him supporters both white and black who made sure his dream was realized and continues to be realized.

And racism continues to exist, but it is now relegated to the dark corners of society.

We may never bring the extremists to our side. But we can draw to us those on the fence and with their help (not their permission) we will reach our promised land.

Amber said...

great post! I agree completely.

Having said that, Dharma does give an extremely compelling argument...

Brenda said...

I am with you. I don't want to be normal. I am not just like them. I am me, I am different and I want my civil rights. I am tired of pussyfooting around. They don't. They outright lie and call it truth. I don't agree with violence or shouting matches, they don't accomplish anything. But, every group has it's extremist factions even the religious groups. I do believe in Ghandi and MLK's ways, but face it, we live in a different time. Things move much faster today. The internet allows a lie to move at lightning speed and by the time we find out about several million have already seen and believe it. Name calling is never good and I am not condoning it, but they cannot condem us for something they've been doing for so long.

cj said...

I absolutely agree with you! Bravo!

Vellum said...

I wholeheartedly agree with you. I mean, it's good and all to have a good image, but waiting to get rights doesn't work. No one is going to give them to us.

And now there are people saying they've got no problem with what queers do in the bedroom, saying, "Why would we care?" They tout their gay friends and insist it's just ideological differences, forgetting anti-sodomy laws that were in effect a lot of places in the US not too long ago.