It Didn't Change Anything

But it made me feel better to be sad and angry with lots of other sad and angry people.

I was hoping for a riot, but my friend said the best we could hope for was an impromptu fashion show.

This Is How I Feel

Article about how the Prop 8 campaign is heating up from the San Jose Mercury News. This paragraph really captured how I feel right now.

For many gay and lesbian people, the rhetoric of television ads and even the everyday things people say during a political campaign like Proposition 8 can carry a heavy emotional toll as normally buried feelings of prejudice are revealed, a group of researchers in San Francisco said Tuesday while releasing the results of two national surveys. Many gay and lesbian people are feeling stress, depression and alienation as the campaign intensifies.

I see the Yes on 8 signs about and even though it's not in my usual nature I want to rip them out of the ground and tear them up. I feel like every single one is a personal attack, though the rational part of me knows not all of them are.

You Don't Like Your Own Medicine?

This week the State of California announced that they would return the designations "bride" and "groom" to California marriage licenses. The designations were removed after same sex marriage was made legal in California and replaced with the terms "Partner A" and "Partner B". (I got to be partner A on our form!)

Well since this happened a whole lot of people have been complaining about the new forms. They don't want to be "Partner A" and "Partner B", they want to be "bride" and "groom". So now you have the option of checking a little box and designating yourself bride and groom.

So here is my news to you. I want to be "Married". I don't want to be a "domestic partner" or "civilly unionized". I want to say "this is my husband", not "this is someone I live with in the State of California with whom I share many of the rights and responsibilities shared by married people."

Many of the people out there fighting to pass prop 8 say that gays and lesbians already have the rights of married people in California, so why does it matter what you call it? The people who fought to have "bride" and "groom" brought back to the California marriage license application know that it matters what you call things. There is power in our words.

So I am telling you all that while I am still planning a wedding, for the next four weeks I really think it's time to kick up the political activism up a notch. As we get closer to the election I ask all of you bloggers out there on the internet, all of you who have neighbors and all of you who have family and friends that believe that it is important to ensure these rights are retained to make sure your audience gets out and votes.

Not only here in California, but also in Florida and any other states where the rights of a gay minority are threatened by the lies and closed-mindedness of a small group of people. So get out the vote, and contribute some money to the Campaign Against Prop 8. It's going to happen someday, let's make that someday November 4th, 2008.

To Vote, Or Not To Vote

Hey everyone quick update! If you were thinking about voting against gay rights the election has been changed to November 5th, everyone else can still show up on the 4th.

Yes on Prop 8 Campaign Airs first Ad

The people at Protect Marriage started airing the first ad urging people to vote yes on 8.

This is so utterly depressing. I wish this wasn't so disheartening and frightening, but it is, because I know how effective these fear campaigns can be.

The ideas set forth that "activist" judges somehow undid the will of the people is ridiculous. The real irony is that the Chief Justice of the California Supreme Court is very conservative and was appointed by Ronald Reagan, and he was part of the majority.

Using people's kids to frighten them is just low and stupid. I can't remember ever being forced to learn about marriage when I was in school. And the idea that people will be sued for their personal beliefs is ridiculous.

A doctor who refuses to perform abortions for ethical reasons cannot be sued for not performing an abortion, because he doesn't do them at all. A doctor who performs artificial insemination on a regular basis for women but refuses to do it for a lesbian can be sued for discrimination because he refuses to perform a procedure that he does normally do for other people (and he was sued, and he lost, and it was right that he did).

I know this is going to frighten a lot of people, and I post it because I think it's so important for fair-minded people to know the arguments that are being used, recognize them as lies and fear-mongering, and go out and spread the truth.

Sometimes I wish this was all less political and more strictly wedding related, but the fact is that gay weddings are political. Whenever I walk down the street holding hands with my partner, that's a political statement, and it will continue to be a political statement until the day we don't have to fight for equal rights and protection under the law.

Spielberg Makes Like Brad

Mr. Steven Spielberg wants to be like Brad (don't we all?) and is contributing $100,000 to defeat prop 8 in California. Mr. Spielberg, I am so sorry I haven't watched one of your movies in years, but I still love E.T. Besides you and Brad can easily afford it right? Hey, you guys wanna buy me some wedding flowers?

Gay Wedding Cards from Hallmark

I know this is old news and many of you have probably heard it by now, I know I read the press release a few days ago. I guess I just hadn't considered it newsworthy until after getting a homo perspective from people in other parts of the country.

Being from Los Angeles I suppose I just take a lot of things for granted. Like all the small greeting card and gift boutique-type stores that carry all sorts of quirky (and in my opinion sometimes overpriced) cards. There are many neighborhoods that while not primarily gay in this city are gay friendly, and many of the businesses in this neighborhood cater to all the different types of people we have in this city.

So I suppose if you want a greeting card in some parts of this country you have to go to Hallmark or Walgreen's, and they don't really have recycled-organic unbleached papyrus cards hand-crafted by one-eyed monks. Even I admit that sometimes this city exists in some sort of parallel universe.

While most people I have talked to about this are excited, I still haven't decided whether Hallmark is to be commended for forward thinking, or if they are just out to make a few more bucks. Either way I suppose more options can only be a good thing.

Even then I am not convinced that the card above is necessarily a gay card. It could just happen to be a card with a picture of two men in tuxedos, that happen to be holding hands. Maybe they're just good friends? Yes, that must be it, good friends.

The Churches Are Coming!

From the Los Angeles Times:

"Early on a late September morning, if all goes according to plan, 1 million Mormons, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, evangelical Christians, Sikhs and Hindus will open their doors, march down their front walks and plant 'Yes on Proposition 8' signs in their yards to show they support repealing same-sex marriage in California."

People can be so inconsiderate. Don' they realize I'm busy planning a wedding? In addition to the stress of choosing flowers do I really need the added worry of mounting a political campaign?

On the bright side it's nice to see that all of these organizations with such differing views on who gets through the pearly gates, or if there are pearly gates at all, can come together to fight a common enemy.

Me.

If you read the yes on prop 8 website (which I urge everyone to do as it's always good to know what the other side is up to) the list of supporters reads like a roster of California churches, oh and Monica Sheffield. If any of you gay Californians work with her or live nearby maybe you should go visit and say hi so she can put a face to the issue.

This list of supporters is one of the reasons we should all come together to vote no on Prop 8. These people want us to believe their opposition is less about religion and more about protecting "the integrity of the family unit," but from where I'm standing, it all looks like religion to me.

The marriage that I want has nothing to do with the church. I would never want to try to force the Catholic church to perform my marriage. There's an organization I would never want to give any of my money to, and not only because of their stance on gay marriage. Half of the population should be really mad at them for thinking the word of god can only be spoken by members of a particular gender, guess which gender, come on guess.

These people claim civil unions already give homos all the rights we want or need in California. If this is true, then lets get the government out of the marriage business and give civil unions to everybody, and if you want a marriage get a church to perform it.

The Flag of Equal Marriage

I found this through a link on the Disboards and thought it was a novel idea (borrowed from the suffragettes). The Flag of Equal Marriage only has two stars, for the two states that recognize the validity of our unions.

I hope someday we all look back and think this controversy was pretty stupid and that the people who are out there fighting against this feel pretty stupid about their actions. When Black people were given equal rights lots of people said, "Well this is different than when we let women have equal rights. It's a biological fact that colored people are inferior."

In a similar fashion a lot of people say , "allowing gay marriage is different than allowing interracial marriage." Well, it's not different, it's never been different, you're just looking for ways to justify your fear of change.

This concludes my rant for the week and we join your regularly scheduled program already in progress.

Love Honor Cherish to Hold Wine Tasting Benefit This Weekend

Love Honor Cherish, a self described grassroots organization to defeat prop 8 will be having a wine tasting fundraiser this weekend in Santa Monica.


This is the first I've heard of them, but proceeds benefit Equality California, whom I am familiar with as one of the larger gay rights associations in California. If I didn't have previous engagements and a wedding to pay for I would consider attending.

Let California Ring Campaign

I have no idea how long these ads have been out since I watch nearly no television, but I loved this when I saw it for the first time last night. I don't know why I was so touched by it.

I found it so easy to relate to the scenario because I think as a gay person you tend to feel like this a lot of the time. Like people you don't know and circumstances you can't control are finding ways to trip you up or make your life more difficult, and when it happens it always seems to come all at once.

Vow to Vote No on Prop 8

There is a great campaign underway from Equality for All asking Californians to vote no on the upcoming November ballot initiative to change the state constitution and take away the right to marry from gay and lesbian people. I have a real nifty graphic over in the right hand corner that tells you how many people have vowed to vote no, and you can add yourself to this number through this very blog!

All you have to do is enter your email address and zip code. Through the graphic you can also visit the Equality for All website and make a monetary contribution to the campaign, or even form a gift registry for your upcoming wedding (in case you don't need another toaster).