The Mad Gay Wedding

Wedding Recaps Part V: The Reception Ends

2009-09-25T17:08:00.000-07:00

Well, This is it folks! All good things must come to an end, and the same must be said for wedding pictures.

I love our wedding pictures. I love to look at them, see our friends and family, look for details I had not noticed before.

I hope you've enjoyed the ride. There's still more of the occasional wedding goodness coming your way, and maybe I'll start writing about married life.

So enough of that, we want pictures!

Married for a few hours and already I was pointing a knife at him.

The fight to get to see who gets the rest of that first piece of cake.

Mickey and Minnie came to our cake cutting. It was a total surprise for our guests, the whole room of adults turned into 5-year-olds.

Minnie tried to kiss me or eat my head, I can't decide which.

We got do dance with Mickey and Minnie. This is Mickey showing Michael my wedding ring to win his woman back.

This was quite possible the happiest day of my niece's life to date. She loves Mickey.

Who am I kidding, so do I!

And apparently so does everyone else.

I love these pictures.

My husband holding one of the pages people made for our album using the photobooth.

A conga line broke out, and I didn't start it, I just got pushed to the front.

And we even line danced. All the things people pretend to hate about weddings are the things they love. I should have asked for the chicken dance.

Adorable closing shot of my niece.

Wedding Recaps Part IV: The Reception Begins

2009-09-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

I wanted to be surprised when I walked into the reception room. We had given our florist a rather vague idea of what we wanted and told him to use his imagination. What he delivered totally floored me.

I'm a strong believer that when it comes to creative types the best thing you can do is give them the least amount of direction possible and put your faith in them (I know that's the best way to get great work out of me.)

The room before anyone was inside.

Hanging a bunch of lanterns on the chandelier was his idea. I knew I just wanted lanterns like Alice would have sat under during the mad tea party.

Shapes and colors, wow.

Half of the table had these short centerpieces. Each one was unique.

The other half had the tall centerpieces.

Our tables were named after characters and places from Alice in Wonderland.

Each of the tall centerpieces was monochromatic and unique.

So we ended up with splashes of color all over the room.

I didn't really care about favors either way, but it was the only choice I had made that my mom lobbied for. I figured it was such a small request that I made some since I wasn't particularly opposed to them. I still have some of these lying around my desk, I use them to keep paper clips and stuff.

I didn't want to eat this cake. It was too pretty to look at. I asked Michael if we could take it home and keep it on the coffee table. He said no, grrr.

A shot of us as we entered the reception room holding hands.

First Dance.

This is the moment. The moment when the weight of the day hit me and I broke down sobbing. So many emotions to feel at one moment.

I don't think this was during our first dance, but I still like it.

Dancing with my mother.

Mike and his mother.

My niece loves to dance.

Wonderful speech by the best man,

And also from my sister.

It was definitely an emotional day.

Wedding Recaps Part III: Some Portraits and Stuff

2009-09-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

This is just a sampling of some of the great portraits taken by Danielle at Skye Blu Photography. I love having such grat pictures of our friends and family and ourselves.

My parents.

His Parents.

Our wedding peeps.

Me and my ladies.

Boob shot . . . . er I mean necklace shot.

Cool floral work.

Another great shot of the girls. They were sitting because they had been on their feet for a while and they were complaining about the walking and their feet hurting. I told them I never said they had to wear heels, so there.

My niece.

Again.

Such a great shot.

Love me some fisheye, lens that is. Not so fond of fish eye when it's inside a fish head staring at you from your plate.

I really wanted a shot of all of our guests.

I painted our ring box to be passed around during the ring warming ceremony.

The inside.

Our program fans were a big hit on a warmish day.

Our Thank You Card Design

2009-09-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

Nothing too fancy. I put this together and should be receiving it from Vistaprint soon. I've actually been very eager to get these out. Having our friends and family come together was so special and meaningful to us, and even though I've already told most of them that personally, etiquette demands gratitude come in card form.

Wedding Recaps Part II: The Ceremony

2009-09-01T17:32:00.001-07:00

Now we can move on to the wedding ceremony! It was a beautiful ceremony, on a beautiful warm Spring day, with all my beautiful friends and family. So I guess if I had to summarize the ceremony, I'd have to call it beautiful.

The beautiful photos are still from the very talented Danielle at SkyeBlu Photo.

We spent the week before the wedding doing a few last minute projects. Finishing up the program fans was high on my list, since I wanted our guest to have someway to cool off a little. Fortuantely the morning was overcast, so the sun had only been out a little while when the ceremony started at 11:30.

Mike really wanted a piano at the ceremony. It was a great addition.

My adorable niece.

This is my buddy who came in all the way from the Caribbean for the wedding. Well, she went to another wedding the day before ours, but I don't think that one counts.

Mike has four brothers, this is #3.

My best friend.

Mike's bro #4.

I've got one sister, she's #1.

Mike's best friend served as Best Man and oversized ringbearer.

Just about ready to go down the aisle.

And we're off. See the tears forming already?

Made it to the front after what seemed like a very long walk.

I love this shot of the girls lined up.

Where did our heads go?

Do I have to put a caption under every one of these?

The view from behind.

There were a few laughs, always a good sign in a wedding I think.

The ring shot.

We presented our mothers with roses during the ceremony to thank them for all the love and support they have given us throughout the years. They totally weren't expecting it.

"Did I ever tell you you're My Hero" is playing on the piano during the rose ceremony. Many tears are shed by those in attendance.

We passed our rings around and had a ring warming ceremony. We asked our friends and family to bless them with their good thoughts and well wishes.

We don't really know this many people. We hired a few extras to sit in at the ceremony.

My favorite shot of "the kiss."

These two have been married for 25 years. One of her kidneys now lives in her husband. After all this time they are still goofy and cute and lovey sometimes. Sometimes not so much. I hope to be that lucky, that's why we asked them to do the closing reading.

The piano starts playing "When I'm 64" by the Beatles and we make our way out.

Check Us Out

2009-08-31T14:06:00.000-07:00

Check us out today over on A Practical Wedding. One of my favorite blogs! I would tell you more about it, but I think the title sums it up pretty well.

Wedding Recaps Part 1

2009-08-25T22:18:00.001-07:00

The wedding was amazing. It was a day filled with fun and love all around. I think most of the guests had a really good time, and that was what I wanted more than anything.

The amazing photographs come from our photographer Danielle at Skye Blu Photography. I can't say enough good things about the work they did.

The amazing flowers are courtesy of Bobbe Vagell. I fell in love with his work the moment I saw his work, and while I don't think you would think it was cheap, the amount that we got for the money we spent was a deal. He takes great pride in his work and he set the whimsical bright tone we wanted for the day.

Our videographer was Maria Abarca. I will post a copy at the end of the recaps. She was so easy to work with, and had the greatest Disposition. I hired her to do a shoot only package and then edited the video myself. Did I do as good a job as she would have done? Definitely not. But I did enjoy the project. If you have the knowledge to do this sort of thing it's a great way to save a little cash.

Our wonderful officiant was the Rev. Yves Edmond. She worked with us extensively to plan a ceremony that was uniquely us.

so without further ado:

The Story
Our day started in the Grand Californian hotel. We were supposed to be at the Disneyland hotel, but they lost our reservation for the first night of our stay, doh! Fortunately the Grand Californian is very close by, and they made it up to us, more on that later.

Our ceremony wasn't until 11 so we had time to have breakfast burritos from White Water Snacks, which totally rocked. I don't know how women can go their entire wedding day without eating anything, I was starving all day long, and took every chance I could get to put food in my mouth.

I started the morning wearing my fancy tuxedo shirt. Why couldn't I get married in that?

I was also wearing my happy pink hippo shoes and shorts. Note the cool Mickey Mouse socks.

Fine, I'll wear the real thing.

These were our boutonnieres. Our florist totally outdid himself. We told him we wanted bright and whimsical, and he delivered.

The best thing about being two guys getting married is being able to spend the morning getting ready together.

It's nice to have someone help you make sure your tie looks good.

Some of the colors that are coming your way. We wanted everything to be bright and cheery and spring like.

We even wore shoes. This was definitely going to be a fancy pardy.

After we got ready we took a walk to the ladies dressing room. I love this shot of us walking over there.

They were in the Dreams Tower. I just like this photo.

This is my sister and my niece.

My niece examines the pomander she will be carrying down the aisle. She was very fond of it, since she is very fond of Mickey.

This is my best friend. She killed a small animal and then asked the hairdresser to put it on her head.

Looks good, right?

Our photographer had to help us with our boutonnieres, since she is a pro at this sort of thing, and no one had worn one since prom.

I should wear make-up every day! If it weren't so much darned work I might.

Our ceremony site, the Disneyland Hotel Rose Court Garden.

From the side.

These were the ceremony decorations. I told the florist to keep it simple, and this is what he came up with. They were awesome.

That wraps it up for now, next we'll move on to the ceremony!

Our Professional Pictures Came In

2009-08-24T11:02:00.000-07:00

Which means there are wedding day memories coming your way. Just as soon as I can get a grasp on organizing 1187 pictures.

Joseph and Kevin's Wedding

2009-06-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

I found this on the website for Ceremony Magazine today, randomly.

I love this wedding! It reminds me of our wedding! The colors, the fun, you'll see!

Waiting Waiting Waiting

2009-06-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone, I haven't forgotten the blog, I just figure I would much rather share our pro photos from Danielle at Skye Blu Photography than all the pictures our friends took. Not that there's anything wrong with our friends' pictures, but I think that Danielle's work is sure to be awesome, so we will continue to wait because you can't rush a good thing.

We did however have a photobooth at the wedding. And I might post some of those pictures on here because they were hilarious and fun.

This one was actually one of the very cool ones.

Wow.

2009-05-25T17:29:00.001-07:00

Details to follow.

Sometimes . . .

2009-05-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes wedding planning can be stressful.

and sometimes we can fixate on finding the perfect first dance song.

and sometimes when we get stressed we get hypersensitive.

and sometimes a comment is taken out of context and our feelings get hurt.

and sometimes we mope around for the entire next day even though we should know better.

and sometimes your husband-to-be sends you flowers to cheer you up and say he's sorry.

and sometimes those flowers show up a day late which sort of defeated the purpose of cheering you up because you felt better already.

but then you remember why you wanted to marry this guy in the first place.

because he's the type of guy that sends you flowers 12 days before your wedding to cheer you up and say he's sorry even though there was plenty of blame to go around and the whole thing wasn't that big a deal anyway.

Wedding Rings . . . . Check!

2009-05-12T15:43:00.000-07:00

We went shopping for rings in the downtown Los Angeles jewelry district on my lunch break today.

One of those details we probably should have taken care of sooner, but still it got done, and it was pain free. I think if we had started the process of looking for the "perfect" rings months ago, I would have gone crazy by now.

As it is, the ring I chose was very similar to many rings I've been looking at, so I was kind of leaning in that direction anyway. It's the sparkly one of the two. Diamonds can be a boy's best friend too, right?

Thank You Maine!

2009-05-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

For being the next state to Make our love equal!

We love Maine even if it does look like . . . .

like . . .

What the hell does that look like?

Gifts For Our Peeps

2009-05-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

I had a really hard time thinking of things to give the women that were going to be standing up with us. I wanted it to be something meaningful, but not super-expensive.

The idea came to me at Michael's, I would make them all scrapbooks so that all they have to do is print up their favorite pictures of the day in 4x6, stick them on, done. Now before you go thinking this was a whole lot of work, I cheated a little and bought semi-premade kits. I still had to assemble them, but it only took me a few hours for each of them.

I still put in a bit of work into each one though, and added a lot of touches and embellishments I made myself. Ultimately I think they should really like them, and they will have a semi-handmade gift that will hopefully be meaningful.

Our Second Wedding Gift

2009-04-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

It arrived in the mail yesterday. Sorry, it completely slipped my mind to take a photo of the first one. This is all getting surreal!

I'm waiting for hubby-to-be to come over for dinner tonite so we can open it together, though he already cheated and checked what it was on our registry, grrr.

Where Have I Been?

2009-03-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

Excuse time! Muy muy busy!

We had our food tasting at the Disneyland hotel two weeks ago, everything was great. The food is good, the chicken is moist, the cake is, well lets just say my guests might find that they get a box of animal crackers while I try to finish off a three tier cake by myself.

Invitations went out this week! Took us a little bit of time to get them all out. Sensible fiance talked me into using standard postal format for the envelopes, which I thought would be hideous, but turned out to be very plain and stark in a cool way, that totally offset the crazy colorfulness that happens when you open the envelope.

Standard postal format? Apparently the post office got new scanners a year or so ago, and it want all caps, san-serif, large type, no punctuation whatsoever. Looks like this:

MR and MR FAKE NAME
123 FAKE ST
FAKEVILLE CA 12345-6789

Anybody who sends out large quantities of mail knows that if you don't follow the format, you get a lot of mail back. We wanted these to get to their recipients. We wanted them to get there fast. They did. Mailed on a Saturday evening from Long Beach California, arrived as far as tiny town Oklahoma on Monday afternoon. Awesome.

Also I bought a Cricut Expression machine. Love It. It cuts paper. Love it. It makes things like this. Out of cut paper pieces you glue together. I love it.

My friend says if you love it so much why don't you marry it? I just might.

It's All The Same

2009-03-03T10:59:00.001-08:00

For anyone that tries to tell us persecution and violence are different from not allowing us to marry and have equal rights, all those feelings come from the same place.

Invitation Sweatshop

2009-02-18T13:24:00.000-08:00

This weekend I got some friends together to assemble invites. I felt like a sweatshop entrepreneur! I changed the girls names to Socorro, Consuelo, and Pei-Ming. We called Mike the gringo factory owner.

Thanks to everyone's help most of the work is done, and all I have to do is add the ribbon to the outside, add the embellishment, velcro closure, make some labels and get these suckers in the mail.

Buying Jewelry for Women

2009-02-11T22:00:00.000-08:00

Lots of people mistakenly think that being gay is synonymous with good taste in clothing and jewelry. If you saw the way I dress half the time, you would know this is entirely untrue.

Especially difficult is buying jewelry for women. Mostly because I don't "have" to very often. I don't know the first thing about it. Things I find attractive many of my friends tell me are gawdy and tacky. Maybe it's because I don't ever think how this would look on a person, and I am drawn to big pieces because then I can actually see the detail. Maybe it's because lots of the jewelry I see is worn by drag queens.

I walked into Macy's today with a friend and right at the entrance I spotted these necklaces, and I thought "great for the wedding." They keep with the theme, they remind me of the embellishments on the front of the invites, they will go fine with black dresses which are a little low cut, I have 180 days to return them, and they were on sale! My friend assured me they were ok, and seeming as I trust her sense of style I bought one for each of the women in our wedding party. Let's hope they don't end up looking like drag queens.

Invitations Are Done!

2009-02-10T09:29:00.001-08:00

Or at least the super final final sample is done. Now I just need to get my friends together assemble 65 of them! I know it sounds like a lot, but since I've actually already cut all the pieces all we have to is gluing. The invitation part is printed on pearlescent paper, so it has a little shine to it. I cut the cardstock for the inserts myself and printed the inserts on an inkjet printer. The folder and pink mat for the invitation came from Cards & Pockets.

I found the ribbon for the outside of the invites at Costco. They have a great selection of spring colors right now, and you can gat a 5o yard roll for only $6.99 at my local costco, that's a bargain. The hardest part for me to figure out was the embellishment for the front. Everything pre-made was so expensive, so I ended up buying three diffent shape-punches. A huge daisy, a smaller daisy, and a small mickey head. I used two large daisies and one small one and held the whole thing together with glue dots, and then used one large glue dot to attach the flower to the ribbon. The ribbon is held on using double-sided scrapbooking tape.

I made the inserts myself in illustrator, printed them up, and cut them. This is my favorite one of all.

I think people will be excited to get these in the mail, I know I would!

Don't Divorce Me

2009-02-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

It Sucks that I have to even ask.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

The Honeymoon Part 1

2009-01-22T14:22:00.000-08:00

A week after our wedding we will embark on the first part of our honeymoon. A 545 mile bicycle ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I know it's not sipping piña coladas on a warm beach, but as the graphic above says, it's an experience you remember for a lifetime.

I should know, we've been on the ride as a couple twice before. This year with all the setbacks the gay community has suffered, I think it's definitely a time to get together with 3,000 of our closest friends and do something monumental for our people.

And monumental it is. I missed the ride last year, but in 2007 I managed to ride nearly every mile except for 40 on the first day. If you had seen the mountain we had to climb that first day, you would have called it quits at lunch too!

So do we do all this for fun? Yes! And no. We do it to raise money for AIDS services offered by the LA Gay and Lesbian Center and the San Francisco Aids Foundation. These are organizations out there directly helping people with AIDS, offering low cost medication and services to segments of our community that would not otherwise have access. Let's face it, the government is broke, and before it was the last administration wasn't going out of it's way to help "our kind."

So what does this mean for you? It means I'm hitting you up for cash. And I know times are tough, and lots of you out there are planning weddings of your own, but do I really need to give you a bunch of reasons to do the right thing?

Besides after a week on a bike, my butt is seriously sore, and it takes nearly a week for the tingling in my arms to subside, so it's not like I'm not suffering too.

You can contibute online with a credit card by clicking here, or by using the nifty new widget at the top righthand corner of my blog. The widget is permanent until I leave for the ride, and look forward to updates on my training.

Ugh. Training. On the bright side my legs are going to look great for my wedding!

How Much Would This Set Me Back?

2009-01-20T12:01:00.001-08:00

Not only monetarily, but in the eyes of my guests.

I joke. I would love to hire me some strolling Drag Queen serving tables from Screaming Queens Entertainment for the wedding, but I'm sure they are pricey.

I didn't even bother to ask, I don't need to add on any more expenses to the party at this point.

Exciting news however, honeymoon plans are soon to be finalized! As soon as they are I will post about our two part honeymoon.

Did Your Neighbors Fiscally Support Prop 8?

2009-01-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

This handy little Google Maps Website will tell you. Also shows some local businesses that contributed. Good idea?

Welcome Back Me!

2009-01-14T16:55:00.000-08:00

I feel a little bit like that guy that said he was totally gonna call you but never did. Except I'm calling you right now with a whole bunch of excuses!

Well first of all December is my absolute worst month at work. It is crazy busy. Every year my organization builds the Donate Life Rose Parade Float. Lucky me is the one who takes all the pictures and video and posts them on the web real time. It's a handful to say the least.

So with all the work happenings and not sleeping very much blogging and wedding stuff fell way to the bottom of my priorities.

Also my attitude about this whole wedding has shifted. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very excited to be getting married, but the passing of Prop 8 affected me in a deep way.

To borrow an idea Peonies and Polaroids borrowed from A Practical Wedding who borrowed it from East Side Bride: Glitter.

To be more precise the knocking-off of glitter, figuratively. A bit of glitter got knocked off our wedding with the passage of prop 8, people voting to deny you the right to get married and people suing to dissolve your marriage will kind of do that.

Not that it's an entirely bad thing. It knocked me down off my cloud and made me stop caring about all the details that won't be so important and made me appreciate what a great day it's going to be.

I'm going to be there. My man's going to be there. My family is going to be there. My friends will be there. We're going to have a good day.

And not to worry, I'm gonna throw some paint on it and toss some glitter on it, some of it is bound to stick, right?

Jon Stewart and Mike Huckabee on Gay Marriage

2008-12-12T14:49:00.000-08:00

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

More of the same from Mike Huckabee. Says to Jon Stewart, "You might be using logic and reasoning, but I have religion to fall back on."

If We Behave, They'll Give us our Rights

2008-12-05T11:27:00.000-08:00

I was reading through the comments section at the LA Times regarding that Prop 8 musical, and I read a sentiment I seem to be hearing a lot lately. (By the way I avoid comments sections like the plague, they are just filled with venom so much of the time.)

There seems to be a faction of people saying we need to treat this as a PR campaign, and we need to not mock the religiously conservative voters that helped to pass this amendment. Instead we should be clamoring for their acceptance, and showing them that we are just normal folk. That way we can pass an amendment of our own in two or four years.

Bullshit.

The idea that I should have to beg the permission of these people to be married is ridiculous. Lets think of other places where we can apply this logic:

* If slaves work a little bit harder, then maybe their masters will take pity and pride in them and set them free.

* If a woman is in an abusive relationship, then maybe she just needs to be a little more patient, a little more loving, and just try to be a better wife. Then her husband wouldn't have a reason to hit her.

* If you had been a better son or daughter, your parents would not have gotten divorced.

We should not have to beg for our rights, and our best bet to receive our rights is to take it to the courts. Public opinion is not on our side, and it will not be on our side until people are forced to accept us and see us in a new light, and that won't happen until they see the results of our marriages years from now.

Prop 8 The Musical

2008-12-03T11:40:00.001-08:00

This cheered me up a lot today. Just in case you haven't seen it somewhere else first.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

A Little Levity Before The Holiday

2008-11-26T11:06:00.000-08:00

I took this from Dingmoonment as I love to know details about people who I don't personally know. What can I say, I'm a voyeur. And now exhibitionist.

Marital Status?
Legally married, but getting weddinged.

How long have you been together?
4.5 Years

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Not at all

Who asked who out?
Mike

How old are each of you?
41 and 29

What are your astrological signs?
Aries, Sagitarius

How tall are each of you?
5'9.75'', 6'3''

Whose mother do you see the most?
Luis'

Whose siblings do/did you see the most?
Luis'

Do you have any children together?
No

Do you have any pets?
Yes

What’s the hardest on you as a couple?
Sticking a homebody and a restless soul together.

What do you both do for a living?
Graphic Design, Real Estate

Is that what you went to school for?
No

Did you both go to the same school?
No

Are you from the same hometown?
No

Do you live in the same town now?
No

Who is the smartest?
Michael

Who is the most sensitive?
Luis

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Super Mex

Where do you shop the most as a couple?
Costco

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Nashville

Who has the best group of friends?
Luis

Who has the craziest exes?
Michael

Who has the worst temper?
Luis

Who does the cooking?
Michael

Who is more social?
Luis

Who is the neat-freak?
Michael

Who is the most stubborn?
Luis

Who hogs the bed?
Luis

Who wakes up earlier?
Michael

Where was your first date?
The Equator coffee house in Pasadena

Who said I Love You first?
Michael?

Who has the bigger family?
Michael

Who gives flowers the most often?
Michael

How do you spend Thanksgiving?
Usually going between two places, this year bringing it all together. Wish us luck

Who is more jealous?
Luis

Do you have little pet names for each other?
Yes

How long did it take to get serious?
From the start

Who eats more?
Luis

Who sings better?
Michael

Who’s older?
Michael

Who does the laundry?
Michael

Who does the dishes?
Michael

Who’s better with the computer?
Luis

Who drives?
Tie

Who picks where you go to dinner?
Tie

Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
Michael

Who named your pet?
Michael

Who kissed who first?
Michael asked if he could

Who has more tattoos?
Michael

Who eats more sweets?
Tie

Who cries more?
Luis

Who's the traditionalist?
Michael

Who's the most sentimental?
Luis

May you all have a great Thanksgiving! Even as second-class citizens, we have much to be grateful for.

I Will Not Call Them STD's

2008-11-25T18:25:00.000-08:00

Our Save the Date's went out last week, which was totally exciting. It snapped me back into wedding planning mode, and it made the whole thing seem much less surreal, and a lot more realreal.

These are the standard letters sent out by Disney. They usually send them out with a sheet that has ticket ordering info on it, but we opted not to do that. It just felt a little tacky to us, and besides the savings were not all that significant.

I loved that they took care of this detail for us. I really did not care to make our own save the date's and send them out.

Here's a dirty little secret: no matter how cute and perfect your save the date is, I make note of the date in my calendar and throw it away, unless you sent me that magnet, which gets put on the fridge for a few months and then thrown away.

This letter though, I will keep in the forever pile.

Should I Be Having Some Sort of Freakout?

2008-11-24T13:28:00.000-08:00

When we first got engaged I was obsessed with that little ticker image above. I was counting down every single day, and obsessing over the wedding in general at every possible moment.

Imagine my surprise when I look at the little ticker today of all days and realize I am exactly six months away from the wedding.

I'm feeling pretty good about where things are at. We still have a lot of things to do, but I figured we would start dealing with all those things in January.

Now I could freak out and make a list of those things and overthink every one of those details, but I am taking a much more relaxed approach to this weeding than I originally intended to. I have come to the conclusion that not every last detail of this wedding has to be a manifestation of our love and symbol of some greater thing. Some things are just things.

Case in point: I remember a conversation I had with a friend shortly after we got engaged. We were talking about centerpieces, and the fact that we were considering incorporating Disney snowglobes and using less floral, and he went into this tirade about how "we should design centerpieces that reflect our unique personalities and each one should have a theme representing a different time in our relationship so that our wedding would be truly unique." Seriously? That's a lot of pressure to put on a bunch of flowers.

That's a lot of pressure I don't need and don't want right now. Work life is about to kick into crazy mode for the month of December, so maybe I will make some time to freak out in the middle of January.

Someday My Prince Will Come

2008-11-22T16:07:00.000-08:00

Our guests received their save the dates this week! We just used the standard Save The Date's sent out by Disney, which is basically a letter printed on nice paper. I just didn't feel like investing a lot of time or money into something I don't see as all that important.

I will post them later this week.

I am hoping to get some pictures of another great wedding for you soon. Something that totally captures the fairytale essence of Disney Weddings. That got me thinking though, if women dream of being princesses on their wedding day, where does that leave guys?

When I think of princes they don't usually do much for me. Either you get "Purple Rain" or tights and a cape. Not that there's anything wrong with a man in tights, think ballet or Cirque Du Soleil, yum, but not something I really aspire to.

Then I ran across these drawings from David Kawena on the internet, and suddenly I found a prince I wouldn't mind living happily ever after with. I just think it's interesting that somebody took some of the naughty thoughts I used to get when looking at Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid and fleshed them out.

He even gayed them up a notch, though seriously, these guys were always a little gay to begin with right?

Off Being Civically Responsible

2008-11-18T22:52:00.000-08:00

The long arm of jury duty caught up with me this week, sorry for the lack of posts! But to tide you over, I will give you these pictures from this past Saturday's protest at Los Angeles City Hall. They are not very good, and they don't give a sense of how big the crowd was, but I was afraid to try and make my way out into the middle of the crowd! (I get a little claustrophobic in seas of people)

A big thanks to my sis for coming out to protest with me, and also for taking most of the pics!

Back with a vengeance after lady justice is satisfied.

Friday Weigh-In #9

2008-11-14T09:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, I think I missed a week there, but last week was stressful, hurtful, exciting, and hopeful, so fitness was the last thing on my mind. Even then I managed to get two workouts in last week.

The weight-lifting routine is really getting tough, but at the same time I'm sefinitely seeing some great results from it. I am still on track to reach my goal at some point next year, so I'm feeling good about that.

National Day of Protest November 15th

2008-11-12T22:44:00.000-08:00

There's a link on the upper tight hand corner of my blog or click here.

Rob and Scott's Wedding

2008-11-12T14:06:00.000-08:00

Remember when this was a wedding blog and everything was new and exiting and oh so optimistic? Then all the nastiness with Prop 8 started and the focus shifted.

Well it's time to shift the focus back! While it just happens that this blog will be more political than it was once intended to be, I will not lose focus that this was also started as a way to celebrate love, commitment, and joy. Not just mine, but that of other lgbtq folks and those that stand with us in the fight for equality.

So without further ado, Rob has graciously allowed me to feature his very recent Walt Disney World wedding with all of you. Rob and Scott had their ceremony at the Adventurer's Club in Pleasure Island, followed by a reception at the Atlantic Dance Hall.

On a sad note, the Adventurer's Club closed to the public forever the night before Rob and Scott's wedding. They were not aware this was going to be the case when they booked the venue, which was chosen for it's significance to them. It's the place where Rob and Scott had their first date. They were friends with the performers at the club as well as regulars, so having a wedding as well as a farewell to such a special place made the occasion bittersweet.

Still they managed to have a wonderful wedding, a ceremony that was completely unique to them, a gorgeous cake and a wonderful reception. All photos are from the very talented Randy Chapman. If you would like to spend days reading a very detailed and often hilarious planning journal you can do so here.

Congratulations Rob and Scott!

Even with the passing anti-gay legislation across the country we are showing the world we don't need the government to bless our marriages. We will still gather our friends and families, and vow our unending love and devotion to our soulmates. We will make a promise to take care of each other before our witnesses. They might be able to legislate the legal for now, but they will never legislate the spiritual.

A Protest Every Day Since Wednesday

2008-11-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

I took Thursday off, and I forgot my camera on Friday. I think the pictures tell the story better than I could.

The Aftermath of Prop 8

2008-11-09T09:56:00.001-08:00

This is a post that needed to be written, but I wasn't ready to write the days after prop 8 passed. I spent those first few days crying at random intervals, and I wasn't ready to say thank you to all the people who are out there supporting our cause. Brides like Meg and Carly who are out there taking a stand for what is right.

A little more obvious, but still definitely worth mentioning are the efforts of the lgbt bloggers on my blogroll. Especially supportive have been Christina and N. I feel like we've all really leaned on each other through this really tough time.

So, what next?

I don't know. I never thought I would say this, but there have been some very good things that have come from this proposition passing. People are mad, really mad, and we demand action and satisfaction. I mean right out of the 60's, outrage against the establishment, I don't care if you turn the hoses on me, by any means necessary mad. I feel like we are watching history being made.

I went to a big protest in West Hollywood on Wednesday. I went to a big protest in Long Beach on Friday. I went to a huge protest in Los Angeles and Hollywood on Saturday. Today I will go to what promises to be a big protest at the cathedral in Downtown Los Angeles.

There was a time in my life when I was much more political, but I burned out on politics. I was always trying to join a protest or a school walkout, but I burned out on them. This is different.

I don't think I've ever seen this many people at so many protests in such a short span of time. This is not going to fizzle out. We are not going to stay at home and cry anymore. We are going to take back what we had, even if we only had it for a short time.

That is the big difference between California and all the other states where constitutional amendments have been passed. Those other amendments were just hurtful. They said to people "you don't have the right to get married, but just in case you get any crazy ideas." People were disappointed, but they had not lost anything, it was just reiterated to them they are second-class citizens.

Here in California, we had the right to get married, and we should have fought harder to keep it. We got too complacent. We underestimated the lengths and lies the Mormon church and so many other conservatives would go to to take this away from us, and they succeeded. They used fear as their tool, and we were too slow to counter with reason.

But they have made us mad. And we have taken to the street. And we will have our rights.

It Didn't Change Anything

2008-11-06T14:42:00.000-08:00

But it made me feel better to be sad and angry with lots of other sad and angry people.

I was hoping for a riot, but my friend said the best we could hope for was an impromptu fashion show.

Congratulations to Everyone Who Got Hope in Yesterday's Election

2008-11-05T11:30:00.000-08:00

Gays and lesbians in Florida, Arizona, and probably California have considerably less to be grateful for.

We will continue with our regularly scheduled blog after a short break.

You Must Vote

2008-11-03T22:52:00.000-08:00

You should vote for marriage equality.
You should vote against religious control in a civic institution.
You should vote against Prop 8 in California.
You should vote for marriage equality wherever you live.
You must vote.

More Lies from Yes on 8

2008-11-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

The Yes on 8 campaign sent out a blatant lie of a flier, the Saturday before the election, telling voters Barack Obabama and Joe Biden supported banning gay marriage in California.

I am not an Obama cheerleader. In fact I am downright pissed at the Democratic party for feeding the country the standard I believe marriage is between a man and a woman line, but to fake endorsements is low. To fake them four days before an election with so little time to counter-act the lies is even lower.

We received one of the fliers in the mail yesterday, and I was furious. Have no doubt in your mind. This proposition is not about protecting children or protecting marriage, it's about homophobia and discriminating against me, my husband, gays, lesbians, and anybody who is different.

Friday Weigh-In #8

2008-10-31T10:26:00.000-07:00

So today I am almost a pound lighter than last week, but yesterday I was nearly two pounds later.

However as a treat to myself yesterday we went to lunch at the most delicious Ramen restaurant in LA, and their specialty is super fatty and salty pork Ramen, and it is so good.

So anyway, I am still making great progress. I only did a half workout this morning because I have so many errands to run today and I need to make through to tonight.

Samuel Jackson Says no to Prop 8

2008-10-31T10:18:00.000-07:00

And is Samuel Jackson the type of guy you want to argue with?

And oh my God . . . Are those actual gay people in the ad? Those two guys in the picture are sitting a little close to each other, aren't they?

Frankly, I just want this election to be over. Tuesday cannot come fast enough for me.

¡En Español!

2008-10-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

Mothers against prop 8. Latinos tend to be conservative (think Catholic church dominance of a continent).

I never thought I would think of this as a good thing, but fortunately Latinos aren't the best at getting out to the polls.

Another Reason Only Marriage Will Do

2008-10-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

Christina over at Steady Happy posted this and I am borrowing a piece of it because I think it clearly illustrates a large reason marriage is so important to us.

the last time i got the welcome packet, patty & i were merely domestic partners. i tried to add her to my health care benefits. here's what we had to provide:

- our certificate of domestic partnership

- proof that we have a shared bank account for at least one year

- proof that we share some sort of living arrangement (a lease or mortgage that is signed by BOTH of us)

- an affidavit that all the above is true that has been notarized

when i tried to add her, we didn't have the joint lease (patty was on it but i wasn't) so i couldn't add her to my health care. this time, now that we are MARRIED, here's what i had to provide:

- a marriage license

that's it. nothing else. just one copy. we didn't have to prove anything. so i made the copy & sent it off in the mail. done.

please don't tell me that domestic partners and marriage are the same.

People have had to try and argue with ambulance drivers over what a domestic partner is because they wouldn't let them get into the ambulance with their spouse. No one has to explain what the term husband or wife means.

Why Won't Anyone Say Gay

2008-10-28T18:25:00.000-07:00

I am noticing a disturbing trend in all of these ads. Here Diane Feinstein is talking about discrimination and how prop 8 is discriminating. Against whom? Gays and lesbians. Not once does she say the "G" word.

In fact gay people are nowhere to be found on these ads. Why? Because we would lose the election?

I am tired.

I am tired of lots of things. I'm tired that this is an issue. I am tired that we will not call a spade a spade. I am gay. Barack Obama is black. Yet no one seems to mention these things.

Lets call it what it really is. This is discriminating against me. It's taken a long time to come to the conclusion that it is ok to be gay, and I still don't feel that way a lot of time when I am out in the world. I don't need this campaign to bring that shame back.

Lets put a face on the issue. Look me in the eye when you discriminate against me.

I promise that after the election I will stop being all political. How soon after the election depends on how things go on Tuesday.

Apple Says No on 8

2008-10-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

I was so happy to read this on the Apple website today:

Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees’ same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a person’s fundamental rights — including the right to marry — should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8.

I know it's a few days old, but it's news to me.

Mr. Jobs, I have already bought an imac, two ipods, an ipod shuffle, and an iphone from you, so I don't know how much more I can do for you now, but thank you for doing the right thing.

Ok everyone, do what Steve Jobs did and donate to no on 8 today.

Ok, lets see where the teams stand. On my side: Steve Jobs, Brad Pitt, Mr. Spielberg, Google, California Teachers Union, and every major newspaper in California.

On Their side: Mormons, Southern Baptists, Catholics. And they say this isn't about religion? Right.

Stay out of my life churches. You've done enough damage to my psyche. There is nothing wrong with me. You don't know how to separate the sinner from the sin, you can't separate me from what you consider sin because it is a part of me.

Am I Out of Touch

2008-10-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

Should I know who Tim Gunn is? In my own defense I don't have cable and don't watch much television. I know I like him, because he's against prop 8!

Just A Little Over a Week

2008-10-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

Until the election. Our ads are good, and they are the truth. Do anything you can to make sure prop 8 doesn't pass.

Friday Weigh-In #7

2008-10-23T10:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I know today is not Friday, which is my usual weigh-in day, but I am moving up my cheat to tonight and there is no way I am weighing myself the morning after a meal like tonight's and counting it as my weigh-in.

My mom has been out of town for a while so tonight she is cooking dinner for hubby and I. We will be having enchiladas and rice, and pumpkin pie for dessert, just because I love pumpkin pie.

This week I hit a 10 lb. mark! I am so excited to be able to say I'm down 10 lbs. so far. I'm starting to see some great results from working out, my clothes fit better, and my energy level is consistently great throughout the day. It's so nice not having that late afternoon "crash".

If I weren't worried and feeling depressed over the possible passing of prop 8, life would be super-peachy right now.

This Is How I Feel

2008-10-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

Article about how the Prop 8 campaign is heating up from the San Jose Mercury News. This paragraph really captured how I feel right now.

For many gay and lesbian people, the rhetoric of television ads and even the everyday things people say during a political campaign like Proposition 8 can carry a heavy emotional toll as normally buried feelings of prejudice are revealed, a group of researchers in San Francisco said Tuesday while releasing the results of two national surveys. Many gay and lesbian people are feeling stress, depression and alienation as the campaign intensifies.

I see the Yes on 8 signs about and even though it's not in my usual nature I want to rip them out of the ground and tear them up. I feel like every single one is a personal attack, though the rational part of me knows not all of them are.

Tell Your Girlfriend You Want a Domestic Partnership?

2008-10-22T11:47:00.001-07:00

Loved this from Father Geoff Farrow's blog and had to repost it. If you are not reading his blog, you must! Go now, I'll hold your corndog.

Someone recently asked me: "Domestic partnerships are almost the same as marriage, why the need for marriage?"

Under California State law, a heterosexual couple may also enter into a Domestic Partnership. So, try this: Inform your girlfriend that you've decided you'd like to enter into a Domestic Partnership with her, instead of marriage. I am certain that she will be able to explain the HUGE difference between the two realities in a far more forceful and colorful way than, I would ever be able to accomplish.

Just one friendly word of advice from someone who used to play hockey in High School, you should put on an athletic supporter with a protective cup before having the aforementioned conversation with your girlfriend.

I Did Not Choose to be Gay

2008-10-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

There seems to be a lot of discussion regarding this point, in fact lately there seems to be a lot of discussion about a lot of topics that affect me directly.

Do not confuse this statement with, “I am not happy being gay,” or, “I wish I was not gay.” All it means is I did not choose to be gay.

A lot of the arguments I have heard about why I should not have the right to marry the man I love are based on the premise that my homosexuality is a choice, and therefore it doesn’t matter who I love because I did not choose to love a woman.

The fact is that even if were shown tomorrow that my sexuality was not a choice but an outcome based solely on biological influences those people fighting so hard to keep me from getting married would not admit their mistake. They would not apologize and offer me well wishes for a long and happy marriage. They would not give me a set of towels off of my wedding registry.

Black people did not choose to be born black. That did not stop people from treating them like second class human beings for so many years of this country’s history.

It does not matter whether I chose to be gay or not. If you think it’s wrong to be gay, you will make it known, and you will make my life difficult, and you’ll do most of it in the name of God.

It is so disheartening that my marriage is going out for a popular vote. It is depressing that so many people who don’t live in California are contributing so much money in the name of God to take that right away from us. A right that was long fought for and only so recently gained.

To all the straight married people out there, be thankful that your marriage will never be put up for a vote.

Some People Have Too Much Time

2008-10-19T14:50:00.000-07:00

Just like me! Watch it. Laugh. Vote No on 8.

The California Constitutuion is Hot

2008-10-17T13:51:00.000-07:00

There's so many of these I will just post them all the way to election day!

Friday Weigh-In #6

2008-10-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

Well this week I managed to not lose any wight. I did not gain any weight though, and I have been sticking to my gym routine, so hooray for that. I love the feeling of being stronger, and then slowly you begin to notice that your chest is getting bigger than your belly, and that's a flattering look for everyone.

Unfair. Unnecessary. And wrong.

2008-10-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

That's what Prop 8 is. Go to the No on 8 website to see what you can do.

Do What Ellen Says

2008-10-15T14:20:00.001-07:00

No on Prop 8 Ads

2008-10-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

"Again with the no new or original content?"

That's what you're saying, and I'm saying, "I'm busy and stressed at work and I'm doing the best I can, so stop yelling at me!"

So why don't you watch these cute ads starring semi-celebrities Molly Rinwald and Margaret Cho I saw on Cats Cheese and a Wedding Please. The Mac and PC take is cute, and it's hard to tell but Molly Ringwald's husband might be cute as well.

Father Geoff Farrow

2008-10-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like blogging is just pointing out things that everyone else is pointing out, but sometimes it's worth it to direct people to a certain place.

I encourage all of you to read the blog of Father Geoff Farrow, who has been placed on suspension from the Catholic church after refusing to endorse Prop 8 which would ban same sex marriage in California. Check out his blog, he's a little long winded (like most priests aren't?) but definitely worth reading.

I Am Ever So Pissed

2008-10-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

While checking up on the blog this afternoon I was really upset to see that the Yes on 8 people had set up residence in the adspace on my blog! I was so upset that I immediately got rid of all the google adsense ads and buzzlogic as well.

I am so mad that these people would post their ads here. Especially since the buzzwords I chose were gay weddings and gay wedding planning, so they knew exactly where their ads would end up. The only reason I had installed the adsense ads was because I have a sneaking suspicion that they help with coming up higher in Google searches, there is no way I was going to get rich off of adsense.

I was so upset I wanted to contact Google and let them know what was going on, but they make that surprisingly difficult.

So consider this an ad free zone! (unless I at some point decide to give up space to sponsors chosen by yours truly personally)

More Pictures From Rob and Sarah's Disneyland Wedding

2008-10-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

A short while ago I told you all about Sarah and Robin who were the first legal same sex marriage to take place at the Disneyland resort.

They had an awesome wedding with Sarah rocking a red dress, riding up to the ceremony together in Cinderella's coach, and a very cool checkerboard dance floor I think I want for our wedding.

Enjoy the pictures (courtesy of Boutwell Studios) and congratulations Rob and Sarah, may the happiness we see in these pictures last the rest of your lives.

No on Prop 8 Video

2008-10-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

I think this whole prop 8 ordeal and the wedding have me feeling more emotional than usual because this actually made me cry a little.

Friday Weigh-In #5

2008-10-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

Despite a trip to San Francisco this weekend with outings to Ghirardelli Square, delicious pecan pie, and short ribs that melted in my mouth I managed to lose 2 lbs. this week. I am so excited to almost be halfway to my goal.

I know a lot of people might think it's shallow to lose weight to look good on your wedding day, and maybe it is, but this is about more than that. I don't just want to lose weight, I want to be more fit and in better shape. I want to permanently carry on healthier eating habits.

In addition to that next year I turn 30, and I want to start a new decade of my life in better shape and carry that through to my 40's. Although being thinner than all my college friends at the wedding will also be nice.

Fighting Back Against the Lies

2008-10-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

It has been so thoroughly depressing watching the ads being put out there by the yes on 8 people. I'm glad to see we are fighting back!

It really makes me angry how much money the Mormon church is throwing against us.

Momons, seriously?

Didn't you guys used to have a lot of wives? Weren't you once cruelly persecuted? This is the best use you can find for that money?

So now I have to spend money to fight this proposition. These ads aren't cheap to run people! Make a contribution at No on Prop 8.

You Don't Like Your Own Medicine?

2008-10-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

This week the State of California announced that they would return the designations "bride" and "groom" to California marriage licenses. The designations were removed after same sex marriage was made legal in California and replaced with the terms "Partner A" and "Partner B". (I got to be partner A on our form!)

Well since this happened a whole lot of people have been complaining about the new forms. They don't want to be "Partner A" and "Partner B", they want to be "bride" and "groom". So now you have the option of checking a little box and designating yourself bride and groom.

So here is my news to you. I want to be "Married". I don't want to be a "domestic partner" or "civilly unionized". I want to say "this is my husband", not "this is someone I live with in the State of California with whom I share many of the rights and responsibilities shared by married people."

Many of the people out there fighting to pass prop 8 say that gays and lesbians already have the rights of married people in California, so why does it matter what you call it? The people who fought to have "bride" and "groom" brought back to the California marriage license application know that it matters what you call things. There is power in our words.

So I am telling you all that while I am still planning a wedding, for the next four weeks I really think it's time to kick up the political activism up a notch. As we get closer to the election I ask all of you bloggers out there on the internet, all of you who have neighbors and all of you who have family and friends that believe that it is important to ensure these rights are retained to make sure your audience gets out and votes.

Not only here in California, but also in Florida and any other states where the rights of a gay minority are threatened by the lies and closed-mindedness of a small group of people. So get out the vote, and contribute some money to the Campaign Against Prop 8. It's going to happen someday, let's make that someday November 4th, 2008.

To Vote, Or Not To Vote

2008-10-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone quick update! If you were thinking about voting against gay rights the election has been changed to November 5th, everyone else can still show up on the 4th.

Awesome Wedding Cake

2008-10-06T11:27:00.000-07:00

If I were marrying my clone we would seriously consider these as possible wedding cakes. My current soon to be husband, not so much probably. I can't hold it against him though because we are still going to have a great wedding and an awesome cake.

I guess if you're not a video game nerd you don't understand how big a part Mario played in my childhood. He gave paunchy people round the world hope that they too could be the hero and get the princess (well, I didn't want the princess, but her dress is very pretty).

The pix come courtesy of Cake Wrecks.

Friday Weigh-In #4

2008-10-03T15:02:00.000-07:00

Well I managed to lose another two pounds this week, so yay me! My goal is inching ever closer, like a turtle crawling over large pieces of pumpkin pie. I kind of cheated myself on gym going this week though, I only went twice, but it has been a crazy week.

This weekend I am off to LoveFest in San Francisco, and it is going to kick ass! I know San Fran is going to be bad for the waistline what with visits to Ghirardelli Square and the such, but hopefully I will be doing enough dancing and walking to burn those calories off!

I had a great meeting with a florist last night, but to be more precise she'd probably be more of a floral designer or floral artist even. Will post all about it when I get back, ciao.

A Real Gay Wedding in Purple

2008-10-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

Usually when you ask me about colors I don't like, purple is usually the first thing out of my mouth. Not that I have anything against purple specifically, it's a lovely color, just not my first choice for something to wear large amounts of. Maybe it dates back to being young and at some point being forced to wear a purple shirt by my mother and sort of remembering feeling like a pudgy little grape.

Then when e-mailing a florist about my ideas and asking where here inspiration might lead her she said she was thinking touches of purple.

Purple? Really?

Then I came across these pictures on Gay Weddings by The Knot and the idea started to grow on me. I think I am liking the idea of purple accents. Gray jackets with purple ties, love it. There will be lots of green at our wedding since that is currently one of my favorite colors, and the purple I think would tie in really well.

I am meeting with the florist today! We'll see how this whole purple thing may work out for us.

Damn You Economy, Straighten Up!

2008-09-30T14:37:00.000-07:00

I hate to be a downer this week, and I know everyone is talking about this, but this has really been on my mind lately.

When we first got engaged economic times were beginning to look a little bad. Things weren't going great and we heard the beginning grumblings of foreclosures and bad loans, but we thought we were in for a little recession.

Now it feels like things are going to get really bad, and it makes me think maybe we shouldn't be blowing all this money on a wedding. I feel like my job is fairly safe and stable, our organization has been growing for a while, but now all this talk of people losing jobs has me worried too.

In turn I find myself spending virtually no money on unnecessary things. We eat out once a week, tops (this is LA, and given how much we used to eat out, this is a big change).

So far our plans are pretty much staying the same. The only thing I am thinking of changing is that since we haven't booked a videographer we might not just get one. I wasn't too keen on the idea to begin with and the one's I love are going to set us back more money than I want to spend right now.

Anyone else changing their habits or plans out of fear? (I hate acting out of fear, but right now it really is the most prudent thing).

Yes on Prop 8 Campaign Airs first Ad

2008-09-29T14:51:00.000-07:00

The people at Protect Marriage started airing the first ad urging people to vote yes on 8.

This is so utterly depressing. I wish this wasn't so disheartening and frightening, but it is, because I know how effective these fear campaigns can be.

The ideas set forth that "activist" judges somehow undid the will of the people is ridiculous. The real irony is that the Chief Justice of the California Supreme Court is very conservative and was appointed by Ronald Reagan, and he was part of the majority.

Using people's kids to frighten them is just low and stupid. I can't remember ever being forced to learn about marriage when I was in school. And the idea that people will be sued for their personal beliefs is ridiculous.

A doctor who refuses to perform abortions for ethical reasons cannot be sued for not performing an abortion, because he doesn't do them at all. A doctor who performs artificial insemination on a regular basis for women but refuses to do it for a lesbian can be sued for discrimination because he refuses to perform a procedure that he does normally do for other people (and he was sued, and he lost, and it was right that he did).

I know this is going to frighten a lot of people, and I post it because I think it's so important for fair-minded people to know the arguments that are being used, recognize them as lies and fear-mongering, and go out and spread the truth.

Sometimes I wish this was all less political and more strictly wedding related, but the fact is that gay weddings are political. Whenever I walk down the street holding hands with my partner, that's a political statement, and it will continue to be a political statement until the day we don't have to fight for equal rights and protection under the law.

Friday Weigh-In #3

2008-09-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

Super good news this week!

I lost 2 lbs despite the fact that I've been home sick for the past 3 days and only went to the gym once. I caught this dang cold from someone at work and I've been miserable for three days now. Hopefully I will be better soon.

I am also proud of myself for staying away from the Costco cookies my uncle brought home this week. I have not a single one, even though the double nut look so delicious. I'm looking forward to a cheat meal at Clearman's North Woods Inn this weekend. If you live in So Cal and have never had their cheesy toast or ranch dressing, you have not lived!

Flowers by Asiel Designs

2008-09-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

I figured I would take some time to write about some of the florists we are considering for our ceremony for anyone that my be in the LA area. Asiel came highly recommended by our photographer, Daniell Biel at SkyeBlu Photography.

I really enjoyed looking at their website. I especially love their "Tim Burton Inspired" section. When I think of what I want our wedding to look like I think of Burton's distinctive look with sharp lines, swirls, and colors that are bold and strong.

I have a meeting scheduled next week to discuss some ideas with their floral designer, so I'm totally excited to see what they come up with. More details to follow!

Spielberg Makes Like Brad

2008-09-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

Mr. Steven Spielberg wants to be like Brad (don't we all?) and is contributing $100,000 to defeat prop 8 in California. Mr. Spielberg, I am so sorry I haven't watched one of your movies in years, but I still love E.T. Besides you and Brad can easily afford it right? Hey, you guys wanna buy me some wedding flowers?

Off-Topic Post and Movie Review

2008-09-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

I know it's not at all related to anything wedding-like, but I'm home sick and bored and I'll blog if I want to. So I just watched this movie called Eagle vs. Shark and I just don't get what the attraction is. I mean when all was said and done it was a cute-ish movie with some sort of love the one you're with message, ,but what is up with these characters?

It started with Napoleon Dynamite I think. I may be the only soon to be 30 year old that did not think that was the least bit funny. I mean are all the main characters supposed to be mentally challenged? Doesn't that make it politically incorrect to laugh at them?

So in Eagle vs. Shark these two characters who may have stepped out of Napoleon Dynamite fall in love, and it's all supposed to be very indie with weird clothes, and look all our music is acoustic again and it doesn't even need to be sung in a consistent key.

That was my rant for the day. Sorry for the negative tone. I think this congestion and cabin fever are doing bad things to my attitude.

Still the Debate about the Flowers and the Video

2008-09-23T10:47:00.001-07:00

In my mind at least it's a debate. These are the last two big things that we have to decide. At first I was sure I didn't want video, and then I saw videos from Paper Tape Films and fell in love with those. The only problem is that since we are getting married on a holiday weekend they have a six hour minimum and that would set us back about $4.5k.

Then I ran across Layer Cake Films and they also do gorgeous 8 mm wedding video. Unfortunately their holiday weekend minimum is $3.5k. Why does everything in LA have to cost so much?

Then there's the flower front. For a while I was seriously considering doing these ourselves, but started thinking about the logistics. Orange County isn't way far from home, but it is a 40 minute drive. If we had flowers delivered they would need to arrive on Friday for a Sunday wedding, or we could pick them up at the Downtown LA flower mart. Either way that means transporting those to the OC, and I have already had a few experiences with flowers not travelling so well, so I'm a little worried about how that may turn out.

So It's back to the drawing board. In the next few weeks we will probably meet with the lovely people at Asiel's Designs, and the work on their website is gorgeous. I feel like they really have a great eye for whimsical, which is totally what we want.

I've also spoken to Bobbe over at Bobbe Vagell Floaral Designs and he seems like a really nice guy. His work is amazing as well.

So only time will tell what may happen. I feel like so much of the wedding is set and these are the two areas where we can fiddle with the budget. If we ended up not having video I would be ok with that too, since we already have a great photographer, and I don't really want to spend money on a "bargain" videographer. I mean if I don't like the final product and never watch it, it's not really a bargain.

No on Prop 8 Launches First Televeision Ad

2008-09-22T10:56:00.000-07:00

The No on Prop 8 campaign launched the first ad in what is sure to be a grueling campaign. The ad features an elderly couple talking about their lesbian daughter. Nice looking old people, non-threatening, the sort of people you wish were your grandparents. I guess it doesn't really do it for me, but this sort of stuff must work, right?

The campaign is raising funds to air the ad as much as possible leading up to the election. You can contribute here. Working around lots of media in the LA area I know how important and expensive these campaigns can be, so I'll be making a contribution today (even though it does tick me off to have to contribute money to a campaign to ensure we keep the right to get married when I would rather be spending that money getting married, grrr).

Friday Weigh-In #2

2008-09-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

Hooray! Week #2 and I lost 1.2 lbs. Also I am very happy that I am not very sore this week, I'm settling into the new exercise routine, and I'm not hungry all the time anymore.

I'm definitely looking forward to a cheat meal this weekend. I'm thinking a yummy pastrami sandwich or a nice cheeseburger. But why settle for one? Louis Burger in Long Beach will make you a delicious "Colossal Burger" which is a burger with some pastrami meat thrown on top. I know it sounds terrible, but it's so greasily delicious.

Brad Pitt Supports Gay Marriage

2008-09-17T19:18:00.001-07:00

From The Associated Press:

LOS ANGELES - Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to fight California's November ballot initiative that would overturn the state Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage.

It's the first time voters will be asked to ban same-sex marriage in a state where gay couples already have won the right to wed. Same-sex marriage is legal in Massachusetts and California.

It's the first time voters will be asked to decide the issue in either California or Massachusetts — the states where gays have won the right to wed.

"Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8," Pitt said Wednesday.

Trevor Neilson, Pitt's political and philanthropic adviser, told The Associated Press that Pitt was surprised that his colleagues in the entertainment industry had not donated more money to support the battle against Proposition 8.

Earlier in the week, Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced they donated $2 million to help fight HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis in Ethiopia.

I was thinking of watching "Burn After Reading," Now I'll definitely go, thanks Brad!

Gay Weddings From The Knot

2008-09-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

A few days ago Meg over at a A Practical Wedding wrote a lists of some of the things she did and did not like about weddings. Under the dislikes she mentioned new Gay Weddings by the Knot.

For those of you unfamiliar the Knot is the Wal-Mart of the online wedding community. Sort of a one-stop shop for anything you may need to know or buy for your wedding (and also like Wal-Mart considered by many to be evil and a symbol of all that is wrong with everything, I have no opinion on that front).

Anyway, Meg's gripe was that the gay knot is it's own independent website, instead of just being introduced as part of the regular knot website, a sort of separate but equal mentality. This aspect of it did not really bother me as much as her.

I think what did bother me is this sort of idea that the wedding industry might just be looking at us as great big walking bags of cash, inconspicuously marked with a giant "$". I feel like there's all these people out there saying, "Let's legalize gay marriage because it's a way for me to make more money."

On the other hand, I know this is America, and if you want to get people to do something you have to relate it to money. Which is why fines are such an efficient way of enforcing the law. If the prospect of being able to make money from me and my brethren is going to encourage you to fight for gay marriage, I feel like we are at a point in the battle where we need all the help we can get and can't really be too choosy about philosophies.

Are there any hockey-moms for gay marriage out there?

What do I like about the site? Being able to see pictures of what other people are doing with their weddings that I can relate to. Hearing stories from people going through some of the problems we're going through. A lot of these issues are faced by all soon to be married couples, but there are some issues particular to gays and lesbians.

For these reasons I don't think it's necessarily terrible for the website to be separate from the main site. I didn't like the knot because I found it to be very unhelpful. There was just too much information and advertising to be able to find the substance I needed.

I am not even in love with the Gay knot. To date the best resource I have found to navigate the madness of this industry are the blogs written by soon to be married people, so much so that they inspired me to do this myself and hopefully help others sort through all the static out there in wedding land.

Balloons at a Wedding?

2008-09-16T21:51:00.000-07:00

I know balloons are not the first things that come to mind when people say wedding. I think most people think flowers and chiffon draped over everything. Not that I have anything against flowers and chiffon (except for the price of all those flowers).

Now I'm not thinking bunches of balloons like you would see at a kid's birthday party, the idea I really like are really large balloons like in the pictures above.

The ceiling in our venue is very high, and I'm thinking it would look really cool to walk in and see these large orbs floating about at different levels. Now I just have to find someone that does these in LA.

Random Thought for the Day

2008-09-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

In California: Now all the good ones will be gay and married.

Dingbat's Agenda Giveaway

2008-09-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

The people at Dingbat's Agenda have come up with a really great way to get me and other people to blog about them. They are having a giveaway for an entire free suite of invitations, and to enter all you have to do is blog about the giveaway. The invitations look great and would totally work with our madhatter theme, I can see flowers or lanterns working out really great, so here's to hoping I win!

Friday Weigh-In #1

2008-09-12T13:20:00.000-07:00

First week and we are off to a fairly decent start, I lost 1 lb in 5 days. If I can lose a pound or two a week for the next few moths I'll be thrilled, and besides they say the weight you lose slowly is the weight that's most likely to stay off.

No On Prop 8 Rolls Out Merchandise

2008-09-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

The No On Prop 8 Campaign has rolled out some merchandise so you can show the world you're against inequality. It seems like a really great idea, but if you're going to try to get the gays to wear these t-shirts, maybe they should have been a little more stylish? Maybe I'll get a button or a mug . . .

A Lesbian Wedding From SkyeBlu

2008-09-11T16:09:00.001-07:00

I am so excited to see that Danielle over at SkyeBlu (who we have booked to be our wedding photographer) has posted pictures of a lesbian wedding on her blog. As usual she has done an amazing job, and every time she updates her blog it only makes me more excited for our own wedding.

Getting Hot Hurts

2008-09-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a few days and for that I apologize, there have been many goings-on this week. The most important of which is that I have decided to get myself in (good) shape (because while round might be a shape, it's not the shape I want to be).

I know I shouldn't necessarily focus on looking good for one day in my life , and should strive to be healthy all the time. The truth is I was was a chubby kid, who grew into a chubby college student that finally decided to do something about it.

The past few years have been a big up and down thing with the weight, but I'm hoping this time the good habits stick! As a bonus, come wedding day I want people who haven't seen me in a while to say, "wow, he looks good."

As I am typing this my fingertips are probably the only parts of my body that aren't sore. My quads are killing me. But in the end it will all pay off. I usually go through short periods of time when I fall off the exercise wagon, and I get right back on, and the first week is always painful.

I will keep the readership abreast of my weekly weigh-ins, and though I know I probably won't look like the picture above, I know I will look damn good on my wedding day because I'll be wearing a whole lot of happy.

Let's Talk Wedding Rings

2008-09-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

I am not a big jewelry wearer, and I am definitely not a fan of yellow gold, so when I got a white gold engagement ring with two little diamonds and a brushed finish I completely fell in love with it.

Now that I've gotten a taste of sparkles I want more, so I think I want my wedding ring to look something like this.

I know it's not traditional, but then again neither am I. I went to go look at something similar at Tiffany's but the band was too thin and the price was too high (ya, I know, Tiffany's). Also the Tiffany ring is platinum, and I have no problem whatsoever wearing white gold to save $1,000.

I found this ring on-line, but the store I found it through is well rated and the seller is in the Downtown Los Angeles jewelry district, so hopefully some day soon I can go and pay a visit during my lunch hour and see if I like the ring in person.

Prop 8 Is Cool!

2008-09-04T14:18:00.000-07:00

The Scene: Two teenagers meet in a high school hallway and high five.

Dude 1: Dude, what's up?
Dude 2: Not much dude how you doin'?
Dude 1: You know what I worry about?
Dude 2: Global Warming? The growing national deficit? Falling test scores in the inner-city? Terrorists?
Dude 1: No, I worry that allowing homosexuals to get married will diminish the value of any future marriage I might have.
Dude 2: That is pretty scary, what can we do?
Dude 1: We can log on to iProtectMarriage.com and join all the really cool kids that are out there fighting prop 8. The website is totally cool, it's designed to speak to me and it totally gets me. You can tell it's cool because they put the lowercase "i" at the front, like in iPod.
Dude 2: I will so totally have to log on and check it out, seeming as I am a teenager and totally concerned about this sort of thing.

I Love Commercials

2008-09-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

I came across this other great ad for no on prop 8 with a lot of really great people speaking out against the constitutional amendment. So maybe Sarah Palin isn't on my side, but celebrities are! And ultimately, who do we value more in our society?

A Great Alteranitve to Favors

2008-09-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

A few years ago we attended a friend's wedding and the thing that stuck out as the most fun in my mind was her photobooth. When we got engaged the first thing I thought of was having one at our wedding.

I remember how much fun we had taking pictures with the bride, stuffing friends in there, and being just all around goofy. The best part is the photobooth prints out two sets of pictures, so your guests get to take one with them, and with the second set they make a really great scrapbook/ guestbook that will make for a great keepsake.

We decided to go with Cheesy Photo Booths since their prices were so much more reasonable than the other companies we looked at. They also allowed us to check out their set-up at a wedding they were going to be at in the area before the guests arrived.

Their package is also very all inclusive, whereas with many of the companies I looked at charged extra for these things. With Cheesy Photo Booths we are getting six hours (though we will probably end up only using four), double prints, a cd with all the pictures taken, and a banner across the bottom of all the pictures taken. Also we will probably bring along a box of props so our guests can get silly, I'm thinking I will probably hit the after Halloween sales this year.

Do We Really Need This?

2008-08-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

The answer to that question when asked in relation to any wedding related purchase of course is "no." I know all we really need to get married is each other and an officiant.

But then once in a while you come across something, and you think to yourself, oh it's only $_.00.

Like toasting flutes. I saw really nice toasting flutes with Mickey Mouse in a tuxedo, and I thought it would be nice to get a pair of those and have them engraved.

The thing is the other day when we were filling out our questionnaire one question asked, will you be providing a cake cutter or would you like to borrow the venue's, and I thought to myself it was silly to spend money on a knife that we would use to slice one piece of cake and then stick in a drawer, so I said definitely borrow. Then it asked the same question about toasting flutes and I thought it would be nice to have our own.

For all the times we sit around drinking sparkling wine?

Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in all the wedding madness and be reasonable. Reasonably no one will remember what we drank out of, and I do suppose every little bit adds up. Still, I could just start drinking a lot more sparkling wine . . .

A Bit of Sad News

2008-08-27T16:15:00.001-07:00

Del Martin passed away today. Martin (pictured above) along with Phyllis Lyon were the first same sex couple to be married in California on June 16, 2008. They were married by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom after 55 years together.

Seeing their ceremony on television brought tears to my eyes. These two people who had been each other's lives for 55 years finally being able to say, "we made it." I'm glad she lived to see the day.

Gay Wedding Cards from Hallmark

2008-08-27T00:30:00.000-07:00

I know this is old news and many of you have probably heard it by now, I know I read the press release a few days ago. I guess I just hadn't considered it newsworthy until after getting a homo perspective from people in other parts of the country.

Being from Los Angeles I suppose I just take a lot of things for granted. Like all the small greeting card and gift boutique-type stores that carry all sorts of quirky (and in my opinion sometimes overpriced) cards. There are many neighborhoods that while not primarily gay in this city are gay friendly, and many of the businesses in this neighborhood cater to all the different types of people we have in this city.

So I suppose if you want a greeting card in some parts of this country you have to go to Hallmark or Walgreen's, and they don't really have recycled-organic unbleached papyrus cards hand-crafted by one-eyed monks. Even I admit that sometimes this city exists in some sort of parallel universe.

While most people I have talked to about this are excited, I still haven't decided whether Hallmark is to be commended for forward thinking, or if they are just out to make a few more bucks. Either way I suppose more options can only be a good thing.

Even then I am not convinced that the card above is necessarily a gay card. It could just happen to be a card with a picture of two men in tuxedos, that happen to be holding hands. Maybe they're just good friends? Yes, that must be it, good friends.

Finding the Right Balance of Traditions

2008-08-26T10:03:00.000-07:00

This weekend we sat down to fill out the questionnaire the Disney people sent us. Some of the questions were simple, some took a little discussion (I managed to give the future husband a tension headache, yay!)

It made us think about things we had discussed before, but not at length. Things like walking down the aisle, and wedding parties. We decided the best approach for us would be to walk down the aisle together, since this whole concept of being "given away" didn't really work for us. Not to say traditions are wrong just because they don't apply to us, I just feel like the whole scene plays out like this:

"I am a father and this is my daughter, I own her and now I am giving her away to you, so now you own her. Am I glad to get rid of her, she may not look like much but girl can eat. Thanks for taking her off my hands, I'll throw in this goat to sweeten the deal."

Overall I think we are managing to make decisions that are right for us. Some things take us a little while longer, and a big part of that is that we are very different people. On the other hand if I were marrying someone just like me we would probably end up like Thelma and Louise, flying off a cliff in a classic car, which is a lot of fun, until you land.

Super 8 Wedding Videos From Layer Cake Films

2008-08-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

This company was referred to my by a soon to be bride. One of the cool packages they offer is sending you a camera and film that you use to shoot your own wedding. You then send it back to the company and they develop and edit the film into your very own wedding video.

The only problem is asking someone to videotape your wedding and have them being stuck behind a camera the whole time. I sent them an e-mail asking them for a detailed price, so more details to follow later.

The Churches Are Coming!

2008-08-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

From the Los Angeles Times:

"Early on a late September morning, if all goes according to plan, 1 million Mormons, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, evangelical Christians, Sikhs and Hindus will open their doors, march down their front walks and plant 'Yes on Proposition 8' signs in their yards to show they support repealing same-sex marriage in California."

People can be so inconsiderate. Don' they realize I'm busy planning a wedding? In addition to the stress of choosing flowers do I really need the added worry of mounting a political campaign?

On the bright side it's nice to see that all of these organizations with such differing views on who gets through the pearly gates, or if there are pearly gates at all, can come together to fight a common enemy.

Me.

If you read the yes on prop 8 website (which I urge everyone to do as it's always good to know what the other side is up to) the list of supporters reads like a roster of California churches, oh and Monica Sheffield. If any of you gay Californians work with her or live nearby maybe you should go visit and say hi so she can put a face to the issue.

This list of supporters is one of the reasons we should all come together to vote no on Prop 8. These people want us to believe their opposition is less about religion and more about protecting "the integrity of the family unit," but from where I'm standing, it all looks like religion to me.

The marriage that I want has nothing to do with the church. I would never want to try to force the Catholic church to perform my marriage. There's an organization I would never want to give any of my money to, and not only because of their stance on gay marriage. Half of the population should be really mad at them for thinking the word of god can only be spoken by members of a particular gender, guess which gender, come on guess.

These people claim civil unions already give homos all the rights we want or need in California. If this is true, then lets get the government out of the marriage business and give civil unions to everybody, and if you want a marriage get a church to perform it.